chatrooms, fangirls, and ears
by sparkiproductions
Summary: gaara gets a crazy girlfrend crazier that him... whats the worst that can happen... she has his baby... did i mention kiba's also obbsed about her. cake. gore. lemons. GXOC NXH KXOC SXT KXI AXK NXT
1. enter tanka

Ears and Demons

by me

"Speaking"

'Chat room'

_Thinking_

(name of person talking in chat)

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A girl about eighteen was sitting at her computer waiting for her latest in a long series of crushes to log on to the chat room. This is **Mochidzuki**Tanka**; she is a little odd compared to her friends. She tower over them being over six foot tall, with long white hair that flows to the middle of her back. But her most noticeable feature is her two small wolf ears. But at this moment in time she is talking to friends on the chat room.**

**'Hey guy what's happin'**

'Hi Tanka'

'Temari who the girl with the ears'

'Gaara shut the fuck up and that's my friend Tanka'

'It's okay I'm use to people talking about my ears'

They talked about silly stuff in till he logged on .

'HI KIBA'

'Dammit not her again'

(Gaara)' dude what the hell is your problem'

(Temari) 'Really'

(Kiba) 'She is so fucking annoying she just like just started to talk to me on the chat'

Tanka was now heart broken so she logged off. She went to lie in her bed to think about how to get him to take her out just once. _I wonder what would Hinoko do at a time like this she'd probably black mail him. Man how long has in been since I last saw that crazy woman I call my sister. _But then when it came to her a brilliant plan to get Kiba to go out with her.

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Tanka got to her destination in no time flat. She broke into Kiba's house with a large steak. She looked around for that one thing that he would die to have back. So when she spotted her target she took out the steak and lured Akamaru to her house. She locked him in the bath room, then logged on the computer.

'Hello every one who's on?'

(Temari) 'It's just me, Gaara and the pink bitch

(Sakura) 'Hey that not nice'

(Tanka) 'Sorry that what's what you are'

(Gaara) 'Sorry bout the ear comment earlier'

(Tanka) 'It's okay you weren't being mean about it'

Kiba logged on and… all hell broke loose.

(Kiba)'HAVE ANY OF YOU SEEN AKAMARU, I WOKE UP AND HE WAS GONE'

(Tanka) 'I know exactly where he is. And if you want him back you have to go out with me. Just once.'

(Kiba) 'Damned women fine I'll do it'

(Temari) 'Acting evil like your sister now are we'

(Tanka) 'Maybe I am maybe I'm not. Kiba will meet me at Ichiraku's Ramen'

(Kiba) 'Fine'

(Tanka) 'Peace out, I got a date to get ready for' so she logged off.

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Just like any girl she ran around like a madwoman. Her clothes weren't that much different from what she normally wore, instead of her normal pants she wore a red skirt.

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In Suna, Gaara was fuming. "Dammit I was going to ask her out"

"Oh, shuddap. I'm trying to watch T.V., or listen to music, well I'm trying not to hear you bitch," said his older brother Kankuro.

"Shut the fuck up"

Temari walked into the room and dropped her bag at the door. Then she looked at her brothers who were bickering again. "If you to are going to fight the whole time I'm gone, I'm gonna get you a babysitter."

At that Kankuro got up, ran across the room and gave Gaara a hug "see the love no more fighting," he said with a big fake smile.

"Kankuro you've got a date you plan on bringing home don't you"

"Maybe I do, maybe I don't" was his only reply, "so before you leave are you making dinner."

Temari smirked "just because you're an ass… no" and with that she left for Konoha.

"See what you did now, you fucking retard. Now I got to go out for dinner" Gaara snapped

"Mwhahahahahha, my evil plan worked" he said like his normal goofy self.

"I hate you," Gaara said leaving to find some where to eat without fan girls.

"Ha, now the house is mine for a while"

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Temari was now walking through the desert she was thinking of away to get him to officially say they were going out. _Damned lazy ass sexist won't even take me out in public. He just says it's too troublesome._ She looked up to the sky. _Damn theirs no clouds then again I am in the middle of the desert. At least Gaara didn't really give me a dead line to get back. _She had a simple mission just deliver a message to the Hokage. After that she'd probably hang out with Shikamaru. _I wonder what lazy ass is doing._

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Shikamaru was lying in the middle of a meadow asleep again.

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Tanka and Kiba were sitting in Ichiraku's talking about Akamaru.

"Well he is like my best friend"

"Duh, I know that that's why I stole him"

"Um… Tanka I have a question"

"Shoot"

"Do you have a tail?"

"That's for me to know and you to find out"

Kiba's lips curled into a perverted smile._ Dude maybe I can get lucky._ Then he was ripped out his thoughts by Tanka smacking him in the head.

"Ow… what the hell was that for."

"Dude, its first date"

"Well I was forced. And I'm only a man"

Just as she was going to beat Kiba to a bloody pulp, Sasuke walked by and Sakura popped up "will you go out with me now?"

"No god Dammit" he said visibly pissed

"You know he's lucky she is dumber than my shoes" Tanka stated.

Kiba shot ramen out his nose. So she took out her pen camera and took a few shots then proceeded told him he had a noodle hanging out of his nose. He pulled it out and threw it on the floor. "That's disgusting, I' m done," said Tanka and she left.

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She left him wanting more and with the bill. He was confused this was the first woman to refuse his charm. Now he wanted her to be his. He was going to make it that way.

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Naruto was walking through the park and happened on Shikamaru passed out in a field again he walked over and shouted, "Oi, Shikamaru get your lazy ass up"

"HN" he mumbled still half asleep

"Dude its dark an it's about to rain."

"Guess I should get up"

"Hey I got a question for you"

"What," Shikamaru replied a little annoyed

"Well I kinda, sorta like this girl," he was nervous about this, "and I don't know if I should ask her out."

"If it Sakura I refuse to help"

"No I gave up on that whore a while ago."

"Good, that was annoying. Okay who is it."

"Hinata"

"Its all good, I think she likes you too."

"Really"

Shikamaru thought to himself _damn he really was that clueless, well he still needs encouragement._ "Yeah man, just go right up to her and do it"

Naruto had even more confidence than usual," all right I'm goin' for it"

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Naruto was walking around town looking for Hinata. _Dammit why can't I find her when I need to? _He finally spotted her in a nearby store. He took a deep breath and walked into the store. He got lucky that it was on of the stores he was banned from. He walked up to her "um… h-hi Hinata how a-are you?"

She was completely caught off guard "N-Naruto, um… I'm doing fine"

"Well I came to ask y-you something"

"w-what"

"Um…WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME?"

Hinata's face turned so red that she could rival a fire truck in a color contest, aaaaaand then she passed out…again. Naruto looked at her "um…Hinata wake up, people are staring"

After a few seconds she woke up "of course I will go out with you."

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Tanka got home an sat at her computer and logged onto her chat waiting for someone to log on. She was hoping for Temari but, she got Gaara. This she didn't mind he was so nice to her.

(Gaara) 'Yo, how was your date'

(Tanka) 'Bad'

(Gaara) 'What do you mean?'

(Tanka) 'He is a fucking pervert and, disgusting'

(Gaara) 'Sorry bout that. Well did you at least get some blackmail on him'

(Tanka) 'Of course I did. By the way where is your sister?'

(Gaara) 'On her way there'

(Tanka) 'Why'

(Gaara) 'Officially she's delivering a message to the Hokage, actually I felt sorry for her so I sent her to see her boyfriend.'

(Tanka) 'Awww you would a girl happy, that's it you need a girlfriend'

(Gaara) 'I kind have someone in mind

(Tanka) 'Who?'

(Gaara) 'You'

To tell you she was shocked, but then she remembered that this was her best friends little brother. _Holy shit what would Hinoko do. Duh, she'd go for it. That's it I'm going for it._

'So are you asking me out?'

(Gaara) 'Yes I believe I am'


	2. dancing?

Chapter 2

That can't be good

"Talking"

'Chat talk'

_Thinking'_

(Person talking in chat)

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Naruto and Hinata were walking through the park when it started raining really hard. They slowly started toward Naruto's house. As they were walking Hinata saw two figures in the field. She shrugged it off and the left to go get dry at Naruto's.

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Temari was walking through the park looking for Shikamaru she found him in the same field that she always did. He was asleep again so she decided to wake him up. So she grabbed the fan from her back. But little did she know he was awake, so as she neared him he grabbed her ankles and knocked her over.

She fell flat on her ass, "ow, that hurts."

He stood up, "look who's the crybaby now."

She got up and as a response started hitting him with a shoe, that had some how fallen off.

Shikamaru grabbed the shoe, "ha, now you have no weapons to hit me with."

"Oh yeah," she took off her other shoe and… started to beat him with it.

"Damn troublesome woman I know how to stop you," he gave her a bear hug and picked her up, "now you can't hit me"

"Hey what are you doing?"

"You know you like it"

"You know what I'm going to do," and she kissed him passionately, "now that I got you to shut up"

"What did I tell you about public signs of affection?"

"Oh poo on you"

"Come on let's get out of the rain. Where are you staying?"

"Um well, I don't know yet"

"Come on you can stay at my house"

"Thanks"

They started off to Shikamaru's house, when Tenten walked up "ha I knew you two were together," she screamed in Tamari's ear.

"What the fuck, Tenten"

"See this is why I told you no public signs of affection"

Neji looked at Shikamaru, "so where are you two headed?"

"To my house to drop off her stuff"

"Sure you are, well have fun," Neji said dragging Tenten away.

"Hey fucker stop implying that we're going to do, well you know 'things'," Shikamaru yelled at Neji

"Um… Shika what was he saying"

"Guy talk," he told her._ Dammit is he trying to get me killed._" Come on lets go"

"Okay"

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-20 minutes later-

"Okay so there's the guest room that's me next door and the bathroom is down the hall," Shikamaru said giving her the grand tour of his house.

"So" temari said looking at his bedroom

"I see" he said (a/n: I don't write lemons or oranges martin : P)

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-The next morning-

Shikamaru woke up with temari still asleep on his chest he laid there and breathed her in. She smelled like lilies. Then he thought about what had happened last night, as he remembered he blushed at his thoughts. He was soon ripped from his thoughts by the sound of the front door opening. _Shit there early._ He turned to temari and gave her a kiss on her forehead, "Temari wake up my parents are early" he said softly. Then the foot steps started up stairs. "Temari wake up there coming up here"

"Okay I'm up what do you want"

"Shhh, my parents are home early. Um… jump out the window and go into your room"

"No"

"Troublesome woman," he was starting to panic, "Get in the closet"

"No" just as she said that his dad walked in.

"Sorry, I see you're busy" then his dad turned around and left.

"Shit" was all Shikamaru could get out.

"What?!"

"By noon half the population of Kohona will know we slept together"

"Well that can't be good"

"Well I promised I'd go get some ramen with Naruto today"

"Do we have to?"

"Yes"

"I'll go put some cloths on"

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Naruto was waiting for Hinata at there usual meeting spot. He was playing with a piece if grass not paying attention to the world around him. So when Hinata got there she went and plopped into his lap.

"Ow, that hurts you know"

"Hi, guess what"

"You told your dad about us"

"No, but I did here Shikamaru's dad bragging about his son sleeping with the Kazakage's sister"

"I knew it was going to happen" then he got an evil grin, "let's go to Ichiraku's and mess with him"

"Fine with me but, I know you just needed a excuse to get ramen."

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Tanka was thinking about what happened last night on the chat.

Flashback

(Tanka) 'So this means your asking me out'

(Gaara) 'Yep'

(Tanka) 'You know that this means that you have to come here'

(Gaara) "I'll be there in a few days for a meeting with Tsunade'

(Tanka) 'See you then'

(Gaara) 'Yeah see you then'

End flashback

_Dammit now I have to find Temari and see if she is cool with this._ So she got up and changed into her normal cloths and went to find Temari.

ten minutes later

Tanka was walked into Ichiraku's, there usual hunt, and saw Naruto interrogating Shikamaru. Temari, Tenten and Hinata were talking. Neji was silently eating his ramen. Tanka walked to the girls "So temari I herd you had fun last night"

She scared the piss out of temari "What? How did you find out?"

"I have my sources"

"Now that the entire village knows thanks to his half drunk dad"

"Don't worry I haven't told my new boyfriend yet,"

"And who would that be" Tenten mused.

"You actually got Kiba to ask you out again" Temari blurted out

"Hell no, not that pervert. I'll give you one clue and two guesses."

"I'm game" Tenten and Temari said

"Okay, he lives with temari"

"Kankuro" Temari shouted

"No not man whore, the little one"

"GAARA" all three said at once

Tenten was in total shock she looked at Tanka, "Are we talking about the same Gaara the one that has less emotion than a stick,"

"Yep and he asked me out,"

"Really," they said in unison

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two days later

Tanka was waiting for Gaara to log on; she was also waiting for Temari to come back. Temari had been staying there because things had gotten weird at Shikamaru's house. After a little while temari came back with there sodas. "Good I was beginning to think you got lost"

"I kinda did"

"Whatever get the laptop from that drawer?"

"Okay"

Temari got the laptop out and logged on.

"God when is he gonna log on" Tanka whined

"Hold on don't get your panties in a bunch"

Just a she a said that Gaara logged on.

(Tanka) 'Yay, took you long enough'

(Gaara) 'Sorry kankuro made my computer crash'

(Temari) 'If your computers down how are you on, and since when did you have a webcam'

(Gaara) I'm on your computer

(Temari) 'You didn't go through it did you'

(Gaara) 'That's some thing that kankuro would do'

(Tamari) 'Okay'

(Gaara) 'But, I did see your new screen saver'

(Temari) 'Dammit you weren't supposed to see that'

(Tanka) 'What is it'

(Temari) 'Don't tell her'

(Tanka) 'Pweas'

(Gaara) 'God temari it's just your boyfriend'

(Temari) 'Dammit Gaara'

(Gaara) 'Sorry she's my girlfriend'

(Tanka) 'Good Gaara and, plus it's not blackmail material'

(Tamari) 'Good'

(Tanka) 'Gaara when are you leaving'

(Gaara) 'When I log off'

(Tanka) 'So log the hell off'

(Gaara) 'Gawd woman I'll log off'

(Tanka) 'Don't make me kill you'

Everyone logged off.

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three days later

Gaara was in panic mode he kept asking kankuro stupid questions. Kankuro finally snapped "Dude, will you shut the fuck up! Gawd you're going to be fine." Kankuro eyes started to twitch. "You know what ill make a deal with you."

"What kind of deal?"

"If your date goes wrong I'll be your personal bitch for a day"

"Deal"

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At the gates Tanka was waiting for her date to get there. _Dammit how long is it going to take him to get here gawd, now I'm hungry._ She thought. _Hey there he is._ Sure enough Gaara was coming over the hill.

He walked up to her "h-hi Tanka"

"I never took you to be one to stutter"

"He he" he kinda chuckled and blushed. (A/N Yea Gaara the guy that has less emotion than a stick blushed)

"Let's go finish your kage shit fast come with me"

Kankuro realized that he wasn't needed anymore "I'm going to find some thing to do"

"Have fun"

Gaara and Tanka started to the Hokage's tower leaving kankuro behind.

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Gaara and Tanka were walking through town. "So what are things around town?"

"Well Sakura is still bothering Sasuke. Neji and Tenten are still together. My sister still hasn't returned. Naruto gave up on Sakura, and asked out Hinata. Lee is lee. And…Shikamaru slept with your sister."

"Hold on back up when did the last one happen"

"Monday"

"I hope Kankuro doesn't find out or he'll kill Shikamaru"

"Well she's staying at my house so, you can talk to her later,"

They reached the hokage's tower. Gaara had some stuff to do with the Tsunade. Tanka couldn't go with him so she told him to meet here at the tea shop down the street.

Gaara sat at his meeting. _This is boring. I wonder what we are going to do tonight. I wanna a cookie._

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meanwhile

Tanka walked down the street to her favorite tea shop. It was on of the few places none of her more annoying friends could find her. She ordered a black tea and some sweet dumplings. She waited there for a little while. Kiba showed up, "hey what you doing."

"Waiting for my boyfriend"

"Oh…I got to go"

"See ya"

Kiba was livid _Dammit I'm going to kill the fucker that asked her out. Wait didn't she force me to go out with her. Why am I so worked up about this?_ "God I need to party"

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one hour later

Gaara finally got out of his meeting. He walked down to the tea shop. He saw Tanka, "so you ready to go"

"Yep, what are we going to go do?"

"Eat, then what ever you want"

"Alright were going dancing"

"Dancing why dancing'

"Acuse nobody ever wants to go dancing with me"

The waitress came over with the bill. "Here I'll get that" Gaara paid the bill and they left.

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two hours later

After dinner Tanka and Gaara were walking around looking for a place to go dancing, the stopped a small club to dance. After a little convincing she got Gaara on the dance floor. She didn't know what she was shy about that boy could dance.

"So how did you learn how to dance" she asked him

"When you can't sleep you find other ways to entertain your self"

"Okay"

They danced for like four hours, till they got tired. They headed toward Tanka house.

"Dammit my feet hurt" and with that Gaara came and picked her up bridal style.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Carrying you so you're off your tired feet."

"Thanks for pointing out the obvious"

"You asked the dumb question"

"Whatever"

Gaara put her down as they neared the house. Tanka was looked into his light green eyes and her body reacted on its own and she kissed him. Gaara was quite surprised and he returned the favor. Tanka was surprised when she felt Gaara's tongue enter her mouth. She couldn't let him have all the fun so she decided to explore every nook and cranny of his mouth. When they broke for air Tanka looked at him, "Hot damn that was good"

"You ruined the moment"

"I don't care I need to say it again HOT DAMN THAT WAS GOOD."

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What they didn't know was that Temari was up acause she didn't have anything better to do. And she saw ……..EVERYTHING. She sat at the door waiting for them to come in.

"We should go in its cold out here" she heard from behind the door. As the door opened Temari jumped in front of Tanka. Tanka gave the girl a funny look, "what are you so happy about. Did you get laid again?"

"First of all I did but, your so cute one of my best friends and my little brother. Wait until your sister find out you were making out with Gaara."

Gaara looked at his older sister he really wished he could kill her but, instead he changed the subject, "so… I heard you got busted Shikamaru."

"What's it to ya"

"You know I don't give a damn but, the drunken baka manwhore on the other hand"

Tanka didn't want to listen to them so headed to bed. Halfway down the hall she noticed that Gaara was following her. When she turned around and he smiled at her, "So which room is yours?"

"That one," she pointed to the door in front of her.

"Good now I know where you are, if I get lonely"

"You want to sleep here don't you" the only response she got was a wide Naruto like smile. She shook her head, "fine. But, keep you pants on"

"Fine with me" and he ran to get his pajamas. She got changed into her pajamas, a t-shirt that was three sizes too big. When he walked in a pair of pajama pants. She couldn't help but stare for a moment. She could see every finely toned muscle on his chest. He looked at her "You know I could put on a shirt if your not going to stop"

She blushed, and climbed in to bed covering her face to hide the blush. Gaara just laughed at her as he climbed into bed him self. He gave her a hug before they both fell asleep

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the next morning

Tanka woke up to a new smell. She couldn't remember what it was until she opened her eyes, to see that Gaara was her new pillow. She didn't want to wake him, so she laid there and listened to his heart beat. But, her calm was ruined by the sound of some one beating on her door. She got up muttering curses. "Dammit who is beating on my door" and she opened the door.


	3. breakfast

Chapter 3

**Thanks to feariegirl87****for adding me to her story alert. Pplz plez review **

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And she opened the door, only to see her sister standing there. "Hey little missy did I say you could have friends over."

"Hinoko is… that you"

"Duh"

"When did you get back?"

"Last night, wow you haven grown a lot since I last saw you"

The truth was that her sister was shorter then her now. Her once waist length hair was cut up to the bottom of her shoulder blade. But her crimson eyes still looked like they could rip right through you.

Gaara had just woken up, "Tanka what's going on"

"Oh I see you have a boyfriend, no more stalking the flavor of the week. Damn is that Gaara he got really fuckin' big.

Tanka gave her sister a death glare, "did any one ever tell you, that you cuss to much"

"Nope"

Gaara was still confused and half asleep, "Tanka where's the bathroom I gotta pea"

"Right there"

"Thanks, love ya"

"Did he say what I think he said?"

"Yep, and the only time a man can't lie is when he is half asleep"

"Thanks for the tip"

"Don't worry bout it. I can't leave for four years with out having some helpful advice. I'm making breakfast if you want any"

"Be down soon"

After a little while Gaara came out of the shower. Tanka was waiting for him, "come on my sisters making breakfast"

"Give me a minute"

When they got to breakfast, Kankuro was hitting on Hinoko who was giving Temari her breakfast; they watched the spectacle as Kankuro got smacked in the head with a large hot frying pan. Kankuro was rubbing his head, "ow, what the fuck"

"I told you to stop"

"But," all that got him was another smack on the head,

Tanka couldn't help but giggle at the people, but then they noticed they were there. Temari looked at Hinoko as if she was going to ask something but before she could say any thing Hinoko said, "No they didn't, and he still had his pants on"

Tanka turned a bright shade of red, she really wanted to kill her sister. "You know one day I'm going to kill you. Your just gonna to wakeup one morning and be dead" she said smacking her sister in the head.

"How am I gonna wakeup if I'm dead" Hinoko retorted

Kankuro looked at his brother with a sill grin, "so you owe me fifty ryo"

"What, why do I owe you money"

"Our bet we maid before we got here."

"Oh yeah"

Temari looked at Kankuro "well since were on the topic of bets," she got a wide grin; "you owe me 400 ryo and have to where a bunny costume for a week."

"Huh"

"Gaara got a girlfriend before he was twenty. Sooo I win"

"You don't have any proof"

"I've got it in writing" she hands him a piece of paper that has the bet written on it along with both of there signatures

"Na-ni, how did you get this?"

"You were hammered"

"Dammit" his great solution was to eat it, "ha now it's gone"

"I've got copies"

"What?! Dammit"

"Now put on your new outfit"

Kankuro walked up the stairs in defeat. Tanka and Gaara sat at the table to get there own breakfast. Tanka looked at her sister, "so what's for breakfast"

"Eggs and French toast"

"Yay, so Gaara what do you want"

"Plain fried eggs"

"That's it"

"Yep"

"I am going to change your mind for you. You're going to have French toast and dippy eggs"

"But I don't"

"Well you're going to have to be more adventurous with me as your girl"

"How can she be so serious and perverted at the same time" Temari stated stuffing her mouth with some eggs.

Just then Kankuro came into the room wearing a pink fluffy bunny costume **(a/n like the one in a Christmas story XD)** "I'm going to kill you" Temari was useless at this point she had orange juice coming out of her nose, and laughing her ass off.

"K-Kankuro you don't h-have to where that out i-if, you f-find a real g-girlfriend" she managed out, "now take that off before I take pictures" faster than you flabbergasted **(a/n I love that word)** Kankuro ran out like his ass was on fire. Tamari looked a her friend "so Tanka how many pictures did you take I know you always have a pen cam in you"

"Six or seven I don't quite remember" she said putting her camera back in her pocket.

Gaara was confused "why do you carry a pen cam"

"Blackmail is on of the best weapons in the world"

"O…kay"

"I have to go I've been summoned" Tanka cleaned up her plate and walked out as Kankuro walked in.

"Damn why can't I have some like that"

"Because you're a manwhore" Temari mumbled

"Maybe her really hot sister will go out with me" that earned him another whack with the still hot frying pan.

Hinoko gave Gaara his eggs he tried them and to his surprise he liked them. "This is pretty good"

"No surprise there" Temari stated

"She's got you figured out"

"It was destiny" Kankuro said with his mot serious face making fun of a certain Hyuuga.

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Tanka was at the Hokage's office.

"Tanka you are to escort the Kazekage to Suna" Tsunade told her.

Fine with me.

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	4. storms yipes

**Chapter 4 pixie stix **

**Hiya peoples look I need reviews so I can make this better. Now let's do it.**

**Disclaimer: I forgotted it in the others. Oops**

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"So Gaara when are we leaving "

"Two days manwhore"

"Will you stop calling me that?"

"Well then stop acting like one"

"You know what I'm going to find a real girlfriend just to prove I can"

"You wanna bet"

"You're on"

"Okay if you find a girlfriend and keep her for more than a month I will get you a date with Hinoko. If you lose you have to where pink for two months"

"Deal"

"Deal, and here's your money"

"Thanks" and then Kankuro left

Gaara sat around for about ten minutes waiting for Tanka to come back. He got kinda board so he deiced to see what Tanka had on her pen cam. After he figured what plug on the computer it was, he plugged the camera in. at first she just had some pictures of Naruto asking Hinata out and some of Temari and Shikamaru making out in the rain. She had about twelve of Kiba with ramen coming out of his nose. She had taken pictures of him blushing. _I don't remember her taking that one._ She had about fifty of him dancing and another twenty of the both of them dancing. He hadn't noticed Tanka walk in, "you know that last one was really hard to get" she said making him fall out of his seat.

He sat on the floor "you're really good at taking pictures, some of them look professional or posed."

"I got skill"

"How did you get the ones of us dancing together?"

"The mirrors in the club"

"Oh, so how was your meeting"

"Mission"

"What kind"

"Escort"

"Who"

"Some big bad leader"

"Well make sure he keeps his hands away from my Tanka. You and your ears"

"Well I don't know he is a powerful man"

"I'm hungry let's get some thing to eat"

"Okay, what time is it"

"Noonish"

"To the ramen stand"

"Why"

"Acause that's where everyone is"

"Fine, let's go"

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ten minutes later

Tanka and Gaara were on there way to the ramen stand. **(A/n I can't remember what it's called at the moment) **Gaara was still pestering her bout her mission, "so who is going with you"

"The lazy ass"

"That it"

"yep"

"I don't have to worry about him my sister would kill him"

"We're here" as the reached the ramen shop

"Dammit"

"What"

"I like talking to you"

"Well I'm hungry" she said as she walked in.

Naruto was working on what looked like his eighth bowl of ramen, with Neji looking at him shaking his head. Tenten and Hinata were talking about some thing. Kiba was sulking in the corner. Tanka sat next to Hinata and ordered some beef ramen.

"h-hi Tanka"

"Soooooooo, how was your date"

"Great"

"What happened," Tenten said almost jumping out of her seat

"We ate dinner, then dancing, then he carried me home, and madeout on my porch."

"Dancing, he survived dancing with you"

"Actually he did better then me. And he is a damn good to"

"Really"

"W-wait d-did you"

"Huh"

"T-Temari said y-you slept t-together"

"I'm going to kill that bitch" Tanka sweat dropped "we slept in the same room together. That's it"

Tenten laughed at Tanka defensiveness "so you slept together with out the fun"

"Yeah" the fact that Tenten said that didn't surprise her, but the fact that Hinata blushed at the comment was the surprise, "I expected Tenten but not you to"

"I-I have no clue what your talking about…maybe"

Tanka and Tenten both pointed at Hinata ant shouted "SO YOU DID SLEEP WITH NARUTO" everyone turned to look at them. Hinata passed out again.

Tanka poked her, "I think we killed her"

Naruto looked up from his Raman for the first time, "if you killed I have to kill you"

"She's fine she just passed out again"

"Give me a minute I have to finish this"

Hinata popped up "what you choose you lunch over me"

"Um…no you just do that a lot"

Hinata wanted to change the subject on some one else "Kiba why are you depressed"

Tanka wanted to mess with him, "why are you depressed I don't like when people are depressed," she rolled up into a little ball on the floor, "I don't like when people are depressed" after that she got up, "that was fun. Hey Hinata, Tenten you wanna find Temari and go buy some pixie stix"

"Okay"

Gaara tried to stop them but was too late "shit"

"What"

"Those two scare me normally but on a sugar high. To say pixie stix scare me"

"oh, sucks to be you

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later that day later

"So Gaara you ready to go"

"Huh, Tanka so your our escort"

"Yeppers"

"Okay"

two days later

Tanka ran up to Gaara, "HII'MONASUGARHIGHDIDYOUKNOWTHATMYSISTERHASAGIANTSWORDI-I-I-IMEANITSLIKEEVENBIGGERTHATHATZABUZASGUY'SSWORDA-A-ANITHINKI'MGONNA—"And with that she passed out. Temari, who was running around Kankuro and Shikamaru turned to laughing at her friend but followed suit and passed out to.

"Great now I have to carry her" Gaara said picking Tanka up

"Hey lazy ass carries your girlfriend"

"Well then you carry they bags" soon Kankuro had five backpacks and Gaara's gourd on his back, "ack, this shit is heavy"

"Hey so is she and bags don't have teeth, ow" Tanka bit Gaara again

"Okay"

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four hours later

When everyone got to the house Tanka and tamari were still out. Gaara started to hand out orders, "alright, Shikamaru put Temari in her room" he put Tanka in a room near by"

The house had five bedrooms Gaara got the main room on the end Temari got the other end and Kankuro was in the middle. The two rooms across the hall were guest rooms. **(a/n you need to know the layout to make this funnier that way)**

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later that night

Temari woke to a loud clap of thunder. _Dammit I hate storms._ She was afraid of storms when ever they came around she would hide under the covers.

Across the hall Shikamaru herd the storm coming, he knew the one thing that made Temari's heart race in the bad way was a storm. That was on of the few things he remembered form the countless conversations they had was her fear of storms and spiders. So he went to take her mind off the storm.

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meanwhile

Tanka was sitting on the roof watching the storms approach. She loved storms. Her storm enjoyment was short lived when in started to rain, so she went back inside. As she came in Gaara watched her come in the window, "hey I thought you liked watching storms"

Tanka jumped across the room "Dammit, you scared me. To answer your question I like to watch storms but I hate being wet"

"Oh, well let me help you dry off"

"What do you mean by that?"

"Any thing you want it to be"

She started to blush madly as Gaara pulled her into the room.

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Kankuro was sitting in his room,_ Temari should be scared shitless. Maybe I should go mess with her. That sounds like fun._ Kankuro got up and walked down the hall, opened the door to his sisters room to find the form of Shikamaru on his sister. Kankuro instantly snapped, "I'M GONNA KILL YOU NARA."

Shikamaru looked up from what he was doing "shit"

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meanwhile

Gaara had just pulled of Tanka's shirt and was now trailing butterfly kisses down her chest and stomach. He reached to kiss her again. When he heard someone running up the hall, "Gaara save he from your psycho brother, please" then he herd a second set of feet rundown the hall, "I'll kill you" he herd Shikamaru run by again, "Gaara save me or Temari's going to be pissed" he got frustrated and stopped what he was doing and yelled at the door, "will you two shut up I'm busy"

Kankuro stopped to think what about what his brother said. When it did came to him, "you go Gaara"

Gaara got back to what he was doing, when the lights cut out. Tanka let out a little squeak.

"Gaara"

"HN" he looked down to see the worry in her eyes, "what's wrong"

She looked embarrassed now, "well, I'm kinda afraid of the dark"

"Its okay and he kissed her on her forehead, "now since the moment was ruined I'm goin to save Shikamaru from my brother. You coming."

"Yeah, let me put on a shirt"

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Some how they all ended up in Temari's room, Shikamaru was hiding behind Temari. Kankuro was running around looking for him.

"Why do you like that sexist anyway," Kankuro screamed

"Why are you a manwhore?"

"Shut the fuck up, and why are you so worked up. Damn you practically encouraged Gaara"

"Hello he's my little brother we're guys this is the stuff we brag about. But our sisters we have to kill there boy friends, and get over protective and stuff,"

Blah, blah they stared to argue some how Gaara got dragged into the argument. Then the lights came on. Tanka tried to get there attention, "guys the lights are on." No response. "Um guys the lights are on." Still no response. "Gaara the lights are on" not even Gaara was listening. "HEY ASSHOLES THE GOD DAMNED LIGHTS ARE ON" she yelled and stormed out of the room.

Gaara felt like smacking himself. He knew she was afraid of the dark. He walked over to Tanka's room, "um…hey I'm" she shot him a death glare, he took a deep breath "I'm sorry for ignoring you"

She gave him a goofy look that she knew would make him laugh, "and what if I'm just mad we got interrupted"

"So your mot mad at me"

"Nope just your family and the dark"

"Oh. Well, where were we"

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**That's the end of chapter four there is a time skip between the next chapter bout a month.**

**Pweas review**


	5. holy

1**Chapter 5**

**sorry for the delay **

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Tenten sat in the chair in complete shock. She looked from Sakura to the paper, back to Sakura to the paper. This continued for a few minutes before she could talk, "um... this wouldn't happen to be one of those April fools days jokes in the middle of October would it"

"Sorry no"

"Holy fuck I can't be pregnant"

"Well you are"

"I'm screwed"

"Well apparently you were"

"Sakura if you value your life shut the fuck up"

"Okay, but I have to ask who the dad"

"Thank you for reminding me to go kill Neji"

"Okay have fun"

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meanwhile

Naruto and Hinata were walking down the street when Shikamaru came running down the street. Naruto looked around "that as odd" they shrugged it off hen Kankuro came running down the street screaming, "NARA I'M GOING TO KILL YOU." Now they were a little confused. Then Temari came running down the street, "don't kill him." Gaara and Tanka came walking down to catch up with them. "Gaara what the hell happened"

"Shikamaru and his dumb ass got my sister pregnant"

"Oh damn, sucks to be him"

"I know. Hey lets get some to eat"

"Fine"

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Tenten had finally tracked down Neji he was training with Lee and Guy-sensei. She walked up to Neji grabbed him by the hair, "hey guys I'm going this borrow this."

"O...kay" Lee and guy both sweat dropped

They walked over to the side "Neji we have a problem"

"What is it can't be that bad"

"I'm pregnant"

"..."

"Neji"

"..."

"Hello any one in there"

"..."

"Helllllllllooooooooooooooooooooo"

"YOU'RE PREGNANT"

"SHE'S WHAT" Both Lee and Guy screamed.

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU NEJI" Yelled Lee

"Lee don't kill him"

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one day later

Hinata and Tanka were trying on shirts at the mall. Tanka as in the dressing room, "so ho life been"

"Fine and you"

"Great. So what's going on around here?"

"The talent show is next week. Final sign ups are today"

"What!?" Tanka ran out of the store.

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Gaara and Naruto were weapon shopping. Naruto was having trouble picking out what color kuntai he should use, "Gaara what should I get"

"Dose it really matter"

"Yea it dose, the red or the blue"

"God, are you sure you're not a skittle"

"WA?"

"Never mind hey it that Tanka" and it as she was being chased by a bunch of security guards, and they tackled her to the ground, "hey she is my girlfriend you can't touch," and Gaara attacked the guards. "hey Tanka nice shirt.

"Dammit I knew I forgot something. Hinata can you pay for it please. Now Gaara did you sign me up for the talent show, because if you did I'm going to kill you."

"damn I don't want to die"

"nani!? How do I withdraw."

"can't everything is final in 3…2…1…now"

"You had better hope this goes well or… your not getting any for a month"

"Oooooooooo damn it sucks to be you" Naruto piped up

"You signed Hinata up to"

"he did what" Hinata ran after Naruto.

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**that is the end not much I know next on is longer I promise. Sorry T.T**


	6. singing

**Chapter 6**

**Now time for the talent show remember I promised a long chapter and here it is.**

_Girl singing_

**Dude singing**

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Tsunade walked in to a room full of anxious ninja waiting to perform their song, "Okay this is the only fair way to do this... eeny meeny miny mo catch a tiger by it toe if it hollers let go eeny meeny miny mo. Okay Sakura is first"

Sakura walked out on stage and starts to sing,

_I'm a little teapot short and stout_

_Here is my handle_

_Here is is…um_

_Twinkle twinkle-_

And Sakura was pulled off the stage

"All right here is the next performer Tenten" said the announcer

_Head under water and you tell me _

_To breathe easy for a while_

_The breathing gets harder_

_Even I know that_

_Make room for me _

_It's too soon to see if I'm_

_Happy in your hands_

_I'm unusually hard to hold on to_

_Blank stares and blank pages_

_No easy way to say this_

_You mean well _

_But you make it hard on me_

_Chorus_

_I'm not gonna write you a love song _

_Cause you asked for it _

_Cause you need one, you see_

_I'm not gonna write you a love song_

_Cause you tell me it's make or break in this_

_If you're on your way _

_I'm not gonna write you to stay _

_If all you have is leavin'_

_I'm gonna need a better reason_

_To write you a love song today_

_I learned the hard way that they all say _

_Things you want to here _

_My heavy heart _

_Sings deep down under you_

_And your twisted words _

_Your help just hurts_

_You are not what I thought you were_

_Hello to high and dry_

_Convince me to please you _

_Make me think that I need this too_

_I'm trying to let you here_

_Me as I am_

_Chorus_

_I'm not gonna write you a love song _

_Cause you asked for it _

_Cause you need one, you see_

_I'm not gonna write you a love _

_Cause you tell me it's make or break in this_

_If you're on your way _

_I'm not gonna write you to stay _

_Promise me _

_That you'll leave the light on _

_To help me see_

_The day light my life, on_

_Cause I believe there's away _

_You can love me because I say_

_I'm won't write you a love song _

_Cause you asked for it _

_Cause you need one, you see_

_I'm not gonna write you a love _

_Cause you tell me it's make or break in this_

_If you're on your way _

_I'm not gonna write you to stay _

_Is that why you wanted a love song _

_Cause you asked for it _

_Cause you need one, you see_

_I'm not gonna write you a love _

_Cause you tell me it's make or break in this_

_If you're on your way _

_I'm not gonna write you to stay _

_Why walk the seven seas, when I_

_Believe that a reason to write_

_You a love song today_

"Okay Tanka's next"

_(Music intro)_

_I know there's something in the wake of your smile_

_I get a notion_

_Yeah_

_From the look in your eyes_

_You've built a love_

_But that love falls apart_

_A little piece of haven _

_Turns to dark_

_Listen to your heart _

_When he's calling to you_

_Listen to your heart _

_There's nothing else you can do_

_I don't know where you're going_

_And I don't know why_

_But listen to you heart _

_Before you tell him good bye_

_(Musical break)_

_Some times you wonder if this fight is worth while_

_The precious moments_

_Are all lost in the tide_

_There swept away and nothing_

_Is what it seems_

_A feeling of beloved to your dreams_

_Listen to your heart _

_When he's calling to you_

_Listen to your heart _

_There's nothing else you can do_

_I don't know where you're going_

_And I don't know why_

_But listen to you heart _

_Before you tell him good bye_

_(Music break)_

Then after the song ended new music started

**I am the candyman **

**Coming from bounty land**

**I am the candyman **

**Coming from bounty land**

_I wish that you were my lollipop_

_Sweet dreams I never get enough _

_If you show me to the sugar tree _

_Will give some the boop boop breeze_

**Come with me honey **

**I'm the sweet sugar candyman**

**Run like the wind **

**Far away to bounty land **

**Bite ma I'm yours **

**If you hungry please understand **

**This is the end of **

**The sweet sugar candyman**

_Oh my love I know you are my candyman _

_Oh my love your word is my command_

_Oh my love I know you are my candyman_

_Oh my love let us fly to bounty land_

_You are my lollipop _

_Sugar sugar drop_

_You are my lollipop_

_Sugar sugar drop_

_I wish that I were a bubble gum _

_You chew on me baby all day long_

_I will be begging for sweet delights_

_Until you say I am yours tonight_

**Come with me honey **

**I'm the sweet sugar candyman**

**Run like the wind **

**Far away to bounty land **

**Bite ma I'm yours **

**If you hungry please understand **

**This is the end of **

**The sweet sugar candyman**

_Oh my love I know you are my candyman _

_Oh my love your word is my command_

_Oh my love I know you are my candyman_

_Oh my love let us fly to bounty land_

_Oh my love I know you are my candyman _

_Oh my love your word is my command_

_Oh my love I know you are my candyman_

_Oh my love let us fly to bounty land_

**I am the candyman **

**Coming from bounty land**

**I am the candyman **

**Coming from bounty land**

_Oh my love I know you are my candyman _

_Oh my love your word is my command_

_Oh my love I know you are my candyman_

_Oh my love let us fly to bounty land_

_You are my lollipop _

_Sugar sugar drop_

_You are my lollipop_

_Sugar sugar drop_

back stage

"Gaara I am going to kill you"

"Why"

"Because you made me sing that god forsaken song"

on stage

"Next is Lee"

**I like beer **

**Cause beer is good**

**I drink beer cause I should **

**If there was a song to sing I'd sing it **

**And beer you'd drink**

**I drink beer when I am sad **

**Because the beer it makes me glad**

**Now there's nothing left to sing**

**So let's go drink some beer**

**Beer is good **

**Beer is good **

**Beer is good **

**And stuff**

**Lets go drink some beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer**

**Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer**

**When its warm it taste real crappy**

**But cold beer **

**Will make me happy**

**When I throw up on the floor **

**I can go and drink some more**

**They say beer will make me dumb**

**It are go good with pizza**

**Now that we have drunk some beer **

**Lets go drive a car**

**Beer is good **

**Beer is good**

**Beer is good **

**And stuff**

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

**(Music break)**

_**Uh dude I think you had enough**_

**NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

**(Music break)**

**Let's go drink some beer**

"Um that was interesting or different I guess"

"Up next is Ino"

_No sir _

_Well I don't wanna be the blame _

_Not any more_

_It's your turn_

_To take the seat _

_We're settling the final score_

_And why do we like to hurt so much_

_I can't decide_

_You have made it harder _

_Just to go on_

_And why all the possibility _

_Well I was wrong_

_That's what you get_

_When you let you let your heart win_

_Whooooooooooaaaaaa_

_That what you get_

_When you let your heart win_

_Whoooooooooooooaaaaaaaaa_

_I drown out all my sense with _

_The sound of it's beating_

_And that's what you get_

_When you let your heart win_

_Whoooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaa_

_I wonder_

_How I'm supposed to feel _

_When your not here_

_Cause I burned every bridge_

_I ever built_

_When you were here_

_I still try_

_Holding on to silly things_

_I never learn _

_Oh why_

_All the possibilities_

_I'm sure you herd _

_That's what you get_

_When you let you let your heart win_

_Whooooooooooaaaaaa_

_That what you get_

_When you let your heart win_

_Whoooooooooooooaaaaaaaaa_

_I drown out all my sense with _

_The sound of it's beating_

_And that's what you get_

_When you let your heart win_

_Whoooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaa_

_They make you wait to me_

_To me_

_And I'll always be just so inviting _

_If I ever start to think straight_

_This heart will start a riot in me_

_Let's start _

_Start_

_HEY_

_Why do we like to hurt so much?_

_Oh why do we like to hurt so much?_

_That's what you get_

_When you let you let your heart win_

_Whooooooooooaaaaaa_

_That what you get_

_When you let your heart win_

_Whoooooooooooooaaaaaaaaa_

_I drown out all my sense with _

_The sound of it's beating_

_And that's what you get_

_When you let your heart win_

_Whoooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaa_

_Now_

_I can't trust myself with_

_Anything but this and_

_That's what you get_

_When you let you let your heart win_

_Whooooooooooaaaaaa_

"Now it's shino"

(He sings rockstar by nickel back but I don't feel like typing it)

And he walked off stage

"Up next is HINATA!!!? What the!!!? She never dose any thing!!!?" Anko screamed into the mike

Hinata walked on stage grabbed Anko's coat and threw her off the stage

"That's why your nice to the contestants, Anko"

"Shut up fish boy!"

"Dolphins are mammals not fish"

(Incase you haven noticed Anko and Iruka are the announcers)

"CAN I SING ALREADY" Hinata yelled at the fools on stage

"Fine"

(She sang bubbly by Colbie Cailat)

"Awww that was cute" said a chibified dancing Anko

"I'm officially freaked out"

"Meany I cant be cute for three seconds"

"No"

Anko punched him in the face "now for Naruto"

(He sung lie to me by 12 stones)

"That… was… so (sob) beautiful"

"What the hell she's crying now. She tried to kill me four times now, and now she's crying. What is she PMSing or something?"

Anko hit him with the mike stand "now for Neji"

"Woopidi friggin do"

(He sang time of dieing by three days grace. Woot)

"Oh… my…god that has to be for someone (sob)"

"What the hell she is crying again—" shuts up thanks to our good friend the mike stand "ow… now for Choui this had better be good"

**On top of spaghetti **

**All covered in sauce**

**I lost my poor meat ball **

**When somebody sneezed**

**It rolled of the table **

**And on to the floor **

**Then my poor meat ball **

**Rolled right out the—**HOLY SHIT

Anko pulled him off stage

"I hate that damned song. Its so fucking annoying. I should tell Tsunade to make it illegal to sing RAWR" Anko ranted

"Now she is ranty McRant rant, okay next singer afore I get hit with some thing"

"Too late" Anko said as she kicked him in the head

"Ow! What the hell!!! I didn't do any thing"

"You annoy me" and she kicked him on the other side of the head

"Gah, now I look like I'm growing horns" walks off stage

"And now for Sasuke and his emolisiousness!"

(He sang 'I'm just a kid' by simple plan)

Tanka ran out on stage

_Hey he's an emo kid _

_Nonconforming as can be _

_You'd be nonconforming to_

_If you looked just like him _

_He has paint on his nails_

_And make up on his face _

_He's almost emo enough_

_To start shaving his legs_

_Because he feels real deep_

_When he's dressing in drag_

_He call it freedom of expression _

_We just call him a fag_

_Cause their dudes look like chicks _

_And their chicks look like dikes_

_Because emo is on step blow transvestite_

_Stop his breathing and slit his through_

_He must be emo_

_He doesn't jump around when he goes to shows _

_He must be emo_

_He's dark and sensitive with no self-esteem_

_The way he dresses makes everyday feel like Halloween_

_He has no real problems but he like's to make believe _

_He stole his brother's mascara _

_Now he's--_Holy shit!!!

Tanka was chased off the stage by Saskue and Itachi and there fan girls.

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**Teh end for now 2 parter**


	7. more singing

1Chapter 7

More singing

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_Recap _

_He stole his brother's mascara _

_Now he's grounded – oh shit_

_And Tanka was chased off stage by Itachi, Saskue, and their fangirls._

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Temari jumped on stage and started "all right I'm going to start where she finished"

_He stole his brother mascara_

_Now he's grounded for a week_

_Sulking and writing poetry are his hobbies_

_He can't get through an hwthom heights album_

_With out sobbing_

_Girls keep breaking up with him_

_He says it never any fun _

_They say they already have a pussy _

_They don't need another one_

_Stop his breathing _

_And slit his through_

_He must be Emo_

_He doesn't jump around _

_When he goes to shows _

_He must be Emo_

_He has paint on his nails_

_And polish on his toes_

_He must be Emo_

_He likes to play guitar _

_And write suicide notes_

_He must be eeeeeeemo_

"Ha, make fun of the emoness"

"Aren't you nice?"

"Yeppers now you sing"

"But I don't want to"

"Too bad"

"Fine what am I singing?"

She whispers some thing in his ear.

"Nani?! Why that song"

"Cause Kaka won't and I like it so I'll force you"

"Fine kuso start the music"

**She's a rebel **

**She's insane **

**She's an insult on the world **

**And she's dangerous**

**She's a rebel**

**Vigilante**

**Missing link on the brink of destruction**

**From Chicago to Toronto**

**She's the one that they call**

**Oh what's her name?**

**She's a symbol **

**Of resistance and**

**She holding on my heart like a hand grenade**

**(Music break)**

**Is she dreaming hat I'm thinking**

**Is she the mother of my bomb? **

**Gonna detonate**

**Is she trouble?**

**Like I tremble**

**You get a double choice **

**Of pain or a melody**

**She sings of evolution **

**The dawning of our lives**

**She bring this liberation **

**That I just can't deny**

**Well nothing comes to mind**

**(Music break)**

**She sings of evolution **

**The dawning of our lives**

**She bring this liberation **

**That I just can't defy**

**Well nothing comes to mind**

**(Music break)**

**She's a rebel **

**She's insane **

**She's an insult on the world **

**And she's dangerous**

**She's a rebel**

**Vigilante**

**Missing link on the brink of destruction**

**She's a rebel **

**She's insane **

**She's an insult on the world **

**And she's dangerous**

**She's a rebel**

**Vigilante**

**She's a rebel **

**She's a rebel **

**She's a rebel**

**And she's dangerous**

**She's a rebel **

**She's a rebel **

**She's a rebel**

**And she's dangerous**

"Now I sang so it's your turn"

"I thought you'd never ask. Start the music"

_Well they encourage your complete_

_Cooperation_

_Send you roses when _

_They think you need to smile _

_I can't control my self_

_Cause I don't know how _

_And they love me for it honestly_

_I'll be here for a while_

_So give them blood _

_Blood _

_Gallons of the stuff_

_Give them all they drink_

_And it will never be enough_

_So give them blood _

_Blood _

_Blood _

_BLOOOOOOOOD _

_Grab a glass _

_Cause there's going to be flood_

_A celebrated girl amongst the gurneys _

_They can fix me proper _

_With a bit of luck_

_The doctors and the nurses_

_They adore me so_

_But it's really not alarming_

_Cause I such a perfect_

"Stop" licks kunai

_FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCK_

**Why thank you**

_I gave them blood _

_Blood _

_Gallons of the stuff_

_I gave them all that they could drink _

_And it has never been enough _

_I gave you _

_Blood _

_Blood _

_Blllllloooooooooooodddddddd_

_I'm_

_The kinda human wreckage that you love_

"Wow that was a big surprise Anko sang her own version of blood (by my chemical romance if ya didn't know) next is Kakashi"

**I'm bringing sexy back**

**Yeah**

**You other boys don't know how to act**

**Yeah**

Then Anko ran across stage pulled off his mask, causing him to be chased by his fangirls. "Ha now I had my revenge for not singing what I wanted you to"

"Okay well she's psycho… next is Temari and Shikamaru."

**What ya gonna do with all that junk**

**All that junk**

**All that junk inside that trunk**

_I'm gonna _

_Get get get you drunk_

_Get you love drunk_

_Off my hump_

_My hump _

_My hump _

_My hump _

_My hump _

_My hump _

_My hump _

_My hump _

_My lovely lady lumps_

_Check it out_

_I drive these brothers crazy _

_I do in the daily _

_They treat me really nice_

_They buy me al this ices_

_Douche and Cabana_

_Fendy and LeDonna_

_Kerin they be sherin'_

_All there money got ma werin' fly_

_Berber I ain't askin'_

_They say they love my ass _

_An' seven jeans to religion_

_I say no but they keep givin'_

_So I keep on takin' _

_And no I ain't takin'_

_We can keep do datin' _

_Now keep on tallin' me strait an'_

_My love_

_My love _

_My love _

_You love my lady lumps_

_My hump _

_My hump _

_My hump _

_My humps they got ya_

**She's got me spending**

_Spending all you money on me_

_And spending time on me_

**She's got me spending**

_Spending all you money on me_

_o-on me_

**What ya gonna do with all that junk**

**All that junk**

**All that junk inside that trunk**

_I'm gonna _

_get get get you drunk_

_Get you love drunk_

_Off my hump_

**What ya gonna do with all that ass**

**That entire ass **

**Inside those jeans**

_I'm gonna make make make_

_You scream_

_Make you scream_

_Make you scream_

_Cause of my humps_

_My hump(X 7)_

_My lovely lady lumps_

_Check it out_

**I met a girl down at the disco**

**She said hey hey hey **

**Hey let's go**

**I can be your baby **

**You can be my honey**

**Let's spend time **

**Not money**

**Mix your milk with my coco puff**

**Milky milky coco**

**Mix your milk with my coco puff**

**Milky milky right**

_They say I'm really sexy_

_The boys they wanna sex me _

_They always standin' next to me_

_Always dancin' next to me_

_Tryin' to touch my hump _

_Hump_

_Lookin' at my lump_

_You can look but can't touch it_

_If you touch it _

_I'm gonna start some drama_

_You don't want any drama_

_No drama _

_No no drama_

_So don't pull on my hand boy_

_You ain't my man boy_

_I'm just tryin' to dance boy_

_And move my hum_

_My hump (X 10)_

_My lovely lady lumps_

_My lovely lady lumps_

_My lovely lady lumps_

_In the back and in the front_

_My love ain't got ya_

**She's got me spending**

_Spending all you money on me_

_And spending time on me_

**She's got me spending**

_Spending all you money on me_

_o-on me_

**What ya gonna do with all that junk**

**All that junk**

**All that junk inside that trunk**

_I'm gonna _

_get get you drunk_

_Get you love drunk_

_Off my hump_

**What ya gonna do with all that ass**

**All that ass **

**Inside those jeans**

_I'm gonna make make make_

_You scream_

_Make you scream_

_Make you scream_

_Cause of my humps_

**What ya gonna do with all that junk**

**All that junk**

**All that junk inside that trunk**

_I'm gonna _

_Get get get you drunk_

_Get you love drunk_

_Off my hump_

**What you gonna do with all dat breast**

**All dat breast inside dat shirt**

_I'm gonna make make make you work _

_Make you work work_

_Make you work_

_(Music break)_

**She's got me spending**

_Spending all you money on me_

_And spending time on me_

**She's got me spending**

_Spending all you money on me_

_o-on me_

_(Weird music break that makes no sense) _

"Ha ha that was funny shika-shika-kun had to sing" then Anko started to roll on the floor laughing. Temari was working the crowd, when Hinoko walked out on stage walked behind Temari grabbed her collar and the back of her kimono and threw her off stage

"go crowd surfing"

"I'd love to but you threw me too far" then Temari landed opposite side of the crowd

"And now it my turn"

_(Intro music)_

_I'm the bone cracker_

_I'm the bone cracker_

_I'm the come from behind_

_I'm the back attacker_

_I'm the bone cracker_

_I'm the bone cracker_

_I'm the get in your mind _

_And you'll find I'll unwrap ya _

_Straight in your face_

_I'm like mace_

_When you cryin' _

_You'll need a back brace_

_The day that defines ya_

_Unwind ya I'll bind ya_

_You'll find that I'm lethal_

_I'm the on that beat it in to you _

_In the hand drill_

_Inside_

_You're dying_

_Inside_

_You're dying_

_Get in _

_Get in_

_Come on get in_

_Get in get in_

_Come on now_

_(Music break)_

_Get to the side cause_

_I'm the bone cracker_

_The come from behind the back attacker_

_Month in the line _

_And I'll start with a base hit_

_Down to your feet _

_And your ankles are wet_

_The crack of a bat_

_And the cruise of the night strip_

_Right to the bull pin_

_Inside_

_You dying_

_Inside_

_You dying_

_Inside_

_You dying_

_Inside_

_You dying_

_Get in _

_Get in_

_Come get in_

_Get in _

_Get in_

_Come get _

_Yeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaahhhhhh_

_I'm the bone cracker_

_I'm the bone cracker_

_I'm the come form behind_

_I'm the back attacker_

_I'll track ya_

_Tack ya _

_Attract you to me_

_Jump down the bone crack_

_1 2 3_

_Inside_

_You dying_

_Inside_

_You dying_

_Inside_

_You dying_

_Inside_

_You dying_

_Inside_

_Inside_

_Inside_

_Your right_

_Boooooonneeeeeee crrrraaaaaaackkkkkker_

_I'M THE BONE CRACKER_

_I'M THE BONE CRACKER_

_(end music) _

"… Interesting"

"I LOVED IT" Anko was hopping up and down like a monkey, "well now were out of people to sing let all… DANCE LIKE THERES NO TOMAROW." Then 'we like to party started to play on the speakers and they all dance till the wee hours in the morning.

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**Holy hell it's finally done (happy dances) now please review the songs and who sing them is on my profile iffen yous guys wants to know**


	8. revenge cake style splat

**Chapter 8 **

**Duh duh duh duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun **

**Revenge…. Cake style (splat) **

**For those still reading thank you. You're the besterist**

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"Hey Temari when you come to the party wear old clothes"

"Why"

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one week later Gaara's birthday

Tanka and Temari were putting the final touches on Gaara's cake… a big red target.

The guest that were there started to sing so they carried out the cakes Temari put the one in front of him while Tanka waited with the other cake that he didn't know about. After he blew out the candles Tanka smashed his head between the cakes. He tried to throw some cake at Tanka but missed and hit Tenten, and then Neji started to laugh at her so she threw cake at him he put Hinata in front of him. Hinata took the cake that she got hit with, thanks to her loving cousin, and wiped it in Sasuke's hair. Then Tenten jumped on that table and yelled "CAKE FIGHT." Next thing you know there was dessert flying every where.

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Outside

Tsunade and Jariya were carrying a massive cake that made to look like Konoha complete with mini Hokage tower.

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Temari saw Tsunade and company coming down the walkway "Oi, Tanka I bet you can't get the both of them in one shot using one hand"

"Oh yeah, if you lose you put a cupcake down Hinata's shirt"

"Deal"

When they walked in Tanka ran under the cake broke it in half and smashed it into the both of them. "Score Temari you lose"

"Fine I was going to do this any way." Temari found Hinata pulled on the front of her shirt and dropped a cupcake down her shirt.

Hinata turned around, "bitch" and dropped some ice-cream down Temari's shirt.

"Ooh ooh oh cold stuff between the boobs" yelped Temari

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Anko was walking up the path to Tanka's house with a small round cake that had a picture of a kunai on it and written in red icing it said 'lick this'. When she opened the door Naruto came and smashed her head in to the cake. "NARUTO I'M GOING TO KILL YOU"

That's when Kakashi came in with a cake the said I 3 porn, she was pissed so she slammed his cake in to his face. "What was that for?"

"I told you not to put that on the cake"

"But, ah whatever"

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Shizune and Tonton were walking to Tanka's house when suddenly Tonton ran away. "Hey come back here" and Shizune ran after her. Upon arriving at Tanka's house she tripped and her face landed in her cake. Then she walked in Tsunade saw her, "hey who got you"

"What"

"Who caked you?"

"I did"

"Klutz"

"I know"

Then Saskue walked up to the house and Tanka got everyone together and gave the a cherry pie "you no the plan"

When Sasuke walked in every one hit him with there pie then Tanka came over with a can of wiped cream and sprayed it on his head.

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later

Tenten, Hinata, and Lee were all playing pass the Neji in the dessert remnants on the floor, this is accomplished by kicking Neji making him slide across the floor in the left over icing on the floor. But the game was short lived when Hinata "accidentally" kicked Neji in the nuts. Tenten yelled at Hinata, "Hey, I need those"

"Sorry"

"Sure you are"

While those two were arguing Shikamaru saved Neji from more of the "game". They heard Tanka yell across the room "alright Shka-Shka-kun slide him down the table" Naruto, Shikamaru, Neji, and Gaara went over to Kiba grabbed his arms and legs and slid him down the table where Tanka was waiting with a bucket full of soft ice cream for him to get his head stuck in.

Tanka looked down at him "hey sulky McSulk sulk stop being emo and have some fun"

"…" Kiba took the bucket off his head and started to leave when Tanka grabbed his arm.

"Look get your ass in here and throw something at me" thud. A kunai landed it the wall next to her. She ran out and grabbed his collar dragged him inside, "look bitch your going to come and have fun whether you want to or not. Now throw this at Gaara" she handed him a cupcake.

"Fine" he scoffed. And he flung a cupcake at Gaara nailing him in the side of the head. _Hey that was fun… I know I'll target Gaara for the rest of the night._

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in town

Hinoko had grabbed two helpers for her task of carrying two and a half dozen cakes to her house. "Hinabi do not drop those cakes we need to be fully loaded when we get there"

"Hey dog lady"

"Konohamaru how many times do I have to tell you I am a wolf, dammit? Call me a dog one more time and I'll feed you to one"

"Sheesh sorry"

"Now onward"

"How did I get talked into this?"

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back at Tanka's

Hinata jumped on Naruto and pinned him down. Then she put the nozzle for the can of whipped cream up his nose and emptied the contents of the bottles in his nose. He screamed "AHH, I THINK THERES WHIPPED CREAM IN MY BRAIN"

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Hinoko and her crew were at the house "alright, team time for operation cake the hell out of Tanka"

"Why couldn't we have a cool name for the mission? Like operation cake face? Because operation cake the hell out of Tanka sucks? A better one is-"he stopped thanks to Hinabi kicking him in the back of the head.

"Thanks Hinabi, so you two walk up first so she will be distracted by you then I'm going to cake the hell her Mwhahahahahha"

"Hinabi she's scaring me"

"Don't worry apparently she dose this to every one"

"Oh"

Konohamaru and Hinabi both went up to the door and were instantly caked by Tanka. Hinoko ran up to the door and shoved a cupcake into each of her sister's ears, "ha got you first"

"Bitch"

"Dumb ass"

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later

Gaara ran up to Tanka "tankie I'm being targeted"

"By who"

"Kiba"

"Boo who I'm being targeted too"

"By who"

"My sister"

Splat! They both got hit with cupcakes.

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When Tanka saw Sakura coming down the street she instantly stopped everyone "okay everyone grab something were-" she was stopped by her sister hitting her with a pumpkin pie "as I was saying, before I was interrupted, were going to hit her with every thing I got" they all waited in front of the door and when Sakura got to the door they hit her with every thing they had left.

"Hey…ooh pie" they she proceeded to lick the pie off her arm.

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the aftermath of the party

By the end of the party every one had new interesting hairdos. Temari and Gaara both ended up with Mohawks. Jariya's hair ended up looking like one long spike. Hinata's bangs were both pointed up. Tanka and Hinoko both had a form of cake in there ears. Sasuke now, instead of looking like a cockatoo, looked like a peacock. Tsunade's pig tails were sticking straight up; giving the effect that she had devil horns. Kankuro's hair was slicked back. Naruto's looked like he had just gotten a swirly. And everyone's hair was multicolored thanks to the massive amounts of blue, green, yellow, brown, and any other color you can think of icing.

Tanka looked around "so who's ready for presents"

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**Hot damn it actually has paragraphs… now Pplz REVIEW OR… NO COOKIES FOR YOU.**


	9. lemon meringue pie

**Chapter 9**

**Lemon meringue pie (filler chapters will all be named after pie)**

**Kinda had a bunch of little ideas to get together **

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Gaara stood at the top of the tallest hill in Suna. He looked down at the roller blades he had attached to his feet, and then down to Tanka who was standing in the middle of the hill, "Come on its not going to hurt"

"I choose life"

"Chicken" just as she said that a breeze blew by, pushing Gaara over the edge of the hill.

"Ah!!! Holy shit!!!!"

"Alright now put your right foot back and use the break"

"Okay" he did as he was told… and the break broke off

"That's not good" as he flew by he grabbed her arm, "let go or were both going down"

"I know you're the one that got me into this mess" then the hill turned a sharp left and they both crashed into the grass Gaara on top of Tanka.

Tanka blushed a deep shade of red, "What did I tell you, shit is not holy"

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a few weeks later

Tanka and Gaara were walking through the woods it had just snowed. As they passed the pond Tanka shoved Gaara onto the frozen pond. "Ha it didn't break"

"Oh really" Tanka picked up a rock and threw it at the ice causing in to crack.

Gaara opened his eye "ha it still—" and he fell into the pond. When he got out he walked over to Tanka and gave her a big hug.

"Stop you're getting me wet"

"Then when we get back let me help you dry off"

"I'll think about it"

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weeks later

Ino, Tanka, Temari, Tenten, and Hinata were all bored. Ino decided it would be fun to go through everyone's mind. So she grabbed a pillow and "mind transfer no jutsu" she whispered and ventured into Hinata's mind. Minds are set up like a house with rooms full of information. 'So lets see the blackmail room' walked through the door labeled blackmail. It was a small room full of filing cabinets. Ino being smarter than usual instantly looked for her drawer. Finding nothing to bad she left the room.

The memories room was next on the hit list, so she went into said door. The room was set up similar to the last she looked around and found her best memory which happened to be when Naruto asked her out. 'Alright she was boring'

Next up was Tenten. When she got in there the whole place was really fucked up. Some of the doors were on the ceiling to say it all it was really scary in there. So Ino hightailed it the hell out of there.

She did try Temari but inner Temari scared the living shit out of her. The real Temari had already done a number on her face.

_Flashback_

"_Look bitch I told you if you kept messing with me and Shika, I was going to break your face."_

_Truth is that is what she did broke her face then tie her up and put her in her own closet._

_End flashback_

Ino shuddered at the memory. Then she tried to go in to Tanka's brain. But the whole thing back fired and Tanka ended up in Ino's mind 'Nice place you got here'

"What why are you here"

'Hello you couldn't get in my mind even if I was asleep'

"Why"

'Cause I got skill. So let's see what you got in here.'

Tanka ran into the room of things you love the most. Only to see…a giant picture of…Kankuro. "Ha she likes manwhore"

Next she went in to the room of memories. To find a memory of a very drunk Ino making out with an even more drunk Kankuro…all for a handful of skittles. Tanka left with haste.

outside

Tanka burst out laughing. By then Shikamaru, Kiba, Gaara, Naruto, and Kankuro had all arrived, "Ino you did what with who for how many skittles"

Tamari looked at Tanka, "What"

Tanka whispered Temari the whole story.

"Oh my gawd, I am so telling him about that"

"About what"

"Wait you can't access that memory"

"What is that supposed to mean…I'm confused" by that point Tanka had told Hinata, Kiba, and Gaara, and was now telling Shikamaru.

"Ino I will tell you one more time. You did what with who for how many skittles"

"I'm confused"

"Your telling me that you don't remember making out with manwhore for a hand full of skittles"

"No…maybe"

"So you do remember"

"Yeah and she apparently liked it"

"You have no proof of that"

"Do you know what I saw in your mind?"

"No"

"Well you know the part of all the things you like the most. I saw a rather large picture of the manwhore"

"Nani…no"

"Ha so she admits it"

Kankuro had spaced out, "So peoples what's happing"

"Dumb ass did you space again"

"No what are you talking about any way"

"The fact that Ino likes you"

"No way"

"Way"

"So Ino you wanna go out"

"Sure, but there's some thing I gotta do first. Mind transfer no jutsu"

"Where'd she go?"

"I think she's in sulky McSulk sulk"

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inside Kiba's mind

"Let's see why he's being emo. Blackmail nothing good here. Onward to things he loves most. Lets see porn, icha icha paradise, and…Tanka. Oh damn. Release"

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Outside

"So what ya find" Tanka said all excited like.

"I need to talk to him in private" she dragged him into the hallway, "look you need to get over that she doesn't like you. Go back to being the old Kiba"

"Fine"

"Good" and they went back to the room as they got back he grabbed her ass. "Dammit Kiba stop being a perv. Kankuro let's go so I don't end up feeling more violated"

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a few weeks later in Suna

Temari woke to the shower running in her bathroom and singing. The singing was light but jus loud enough for her to here Shikamaru singing.

_Hey you're a crazy bitch _

_But fuck so go I'm on top of it_

_When I dream _

_I'm doing you all night_

Temari walked into the bathroom ripped open the shower curtains "what the hell are you singing"

"Nothing it's just stuck in my head"

"Oh fine"

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a few minuet later

"What are you two doing" Kankuro busted into the room "never mind"

"Dude don't you have your own bathroom"

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Tanka and Gaara were sitting on top of a building in Konoha shooting people with wasps. **(You know when you fold you paper an shoot people with a rubber band)** "Ha okay Temari is twenty points"

Tanka shot Temari so far the score was Tanka ninety-eight, Gaara fifty-seven. Then Tanka saw Tsunade walking down the street. "Ooh Tsunade is two hundred points" and Tanka shot her right in between the eyes.

"who the fuck did that"

"oh shit hide"

Tanka hid a little to far on the backside of the roof and fell off. Gaara was rolling on the floor laughing and he rolled off into a tree and hit almost every branch on the way down. When he hit on the ground, he lay there for a second and, since it was winter, all the snow on the tree landed on top of him. "ow…"

"WHO THE FUCK DID THAT?!?!" Tsunade screamed, coming around the building. Tanka had already run, which left Gaara laying on the ground and Tsunade saw him. And he got pummeled, but not killed.

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**Ha ha Kankuro walked in on them again. And Gaara fell off the roof! ROFL!! Till next time. T-t-t-that's al folks!!!**


	10. one extra

1**Chapter 10 **

**I have nothing to say… read now. RAWR!!**

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Tanka was sitting in her room killing birds. She had set up a bucket of peanuts on the window sill and left the window open, and when a bird would land she'd throw a kunai at it. She was bored out of her mind. 

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Meanwhile

Tsunade was panicking. She made a spoof she didn't realize that she only had thirty-one genin leaving her with one extra. So she needed to figure out what to do. Then Hinoko walked in. When she remembered what happened with Tanka she was an extra to so they sent her on a mission with a very high ranked jonin for a few years. Well it is odd how history repeats it's self. "Hinoko I have a mission for you"

"Wat ya got"

"Well I'll let you choose one of are new genin to train as your own"

"No"

"What why not"

"Not unless I can take my sister with me"

"Fine"

"Well then we have a deal"

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Hinoko was looking for her sister. When she got home she saw a large pile of dead and dieing birds, _yep she's bored._ "Oh psycho ass crazy sister of mine"

"Huh, what do ya want?"

"I gots ya an S rank mission for da both of us" 

"Yay I'll be down," and Tanka jumped out the window, "now. So what's the catch?"

"Well Tsunade got drunk while she was doing the genin list. And she has one extra genin. And wall we have been recruited to train it, but, you get to pick which one"

"Okay you got a list"

"Here" Hinoko said handing her sister a list of the genin.

"Let's see. Eeny meeny miny mo oh that one has a cool name"

"Okay so Ayame it is"

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later

Tanka and Hinoko arrived at the address on the paper it was a small house in the not so good part of town. When they knocked on the door a girl of about fourteen or fifteen came out. Tanka looked down at the girl. "Hiya were looking for Ayame"

"I-I'm Ayame" the two of them were very frightening to a small girl like her. They were both over six feet tall and had actual fangs. Hinoko carried a sword as long as she was tall. And the mass of tails they had just made them a little scarier. 

"Well lucky little genin Tsunade spoofed so… you get to come on a ridiculously long mission with the two of us" 

"Tanka I think you scare her"

"I scare a lot of people"

"Well you have one day to get all your stuff and say good bye"

"Um…g-give me an m-minuet and I'll be ready" she said walking back in the house.

"Tanka you picked a dud she stutters more than Hinata before she started to go out with Naruto."

"Oops, sorry"

"Whatever it's your job to make her come out of her shell"

"Fine gawd" just as she said that Ayame walked out "so you got any one to say bye to"

"n-no"

"Okey dokey let's go. I got go get my katana out of the wall"

"How did it get stuck in the wall?"

"I got bored and shoved it through the wall and it kinda got stuck… and stabbed Shikamaru on the way through."

"Um…w-what are yo-your names?"

"I'm Hinoko and that's my dumb ass sister tankie"

"Hey only Gaara can call me that"

"Fine so let's go get your katana out of the wall"

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elsewhere

"Hinata you're going to have to tell him"

"B-b-but he'll kill you"

"Ha I laugh in the face of danger, besides your going to have to tell him eventually"

"But I don't want to"

"Look you need to face your fears and go right up to him and tell you father"

"Okay but not in till I tell the others"

"Good"

"You know I'm not afraid for me or you but there's," she said patting her belly.

"I know it will be okay I promise"

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Tanka, Hinoko, and Ayame were all trying to pull the katana out of the wall and it would not budge. So Tanka went into the other room to push the katana out of the wall, and was greeted with Temari throwing up…again. "God woman you need to get your self together."

"I'll be fine I only got another five months of this. Plus you had better be nice or I might just not help when you and Gaara go through this"

"Who says I ever will"

"You know that Gaara wants kids right"

"If he wants kids, why doesn't he just get himself pregnant," with that Tanka took a rather large hammer and knocked the blade back through the wall"

"You scare me"

"I know, oh and I'm throwing a going away party tonight."

"Fine by me how long will you be gone"

"A few months"

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at the party

Temari, Ino, Tenten, Naruto, Neji, Hinoko, and Kiba were all listing to Tanka introduce there new companion, "so now you all need to treat her like on of us, which by all accounts isn't that great anyway. Because well… she is too shy for me to train. So the first thing she will have to do is go out with Kiba as ordered by me" she turned to Kiba and whispered "look bitch you need to crack the shell open. I'm trusting you now if you have to be gentle. And for god's sake please don't drool. And only a little booze"

"Fine with me"

"Good boy"

Hinoko walked up to her sister, "you know Tsunade would have my head if she found out about this 'training' method you have"

"Yepper doodles"

"Making sure"

Kiba and his date left when Temari piped up "so how everyone else's life"

"Well I-I have an announcement to make"

"What you guys can't be pregnant to"

"Well Tanka that is our announcement"

"Good for you, well let's party"

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gaara was sitting in the house waiting for tanka to come back from a party that temari took her too. Tanka came busting in the door. She grabbed gaara and started to rip his pants off. Gaara was a little thrown off "tanka what are you doing"

"Shut up" she growled ripping off his shirt. 

Gaara noticed her eyes turn bright gold, and her normally short fangs grow long. 'Well that can't be good. I think I should call some one to come save me"

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Temari and Tenten were sitting in the living room at Naruto's old apartment for some reason he hadn't gotten rid of the place yet. Temari was counting ceiling tiles when her phone rang, "hello"

"HELP"

"Gaara what's wrong"

"TANKA IS RAPING ME"

"What how is that possible"

"SAVE ME TANKA IS RAP–" The phone was cut off 

"Well that can't be good"

"What?" Tenten asked

"Tanka's raping Gaara"

"Tee hee that's pretty funny. Should we go save him"

"NAH" both said and hinata came in with the ice cream.

"So what cha talking about"

"Nothing important just tanka raping gaara"

"Shoulden't you save him"

"I could 

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	11. GORE GORRY BLOOD DEATH! YAY

1**Chapter 11**

**Sorry for the delay working with a another author on ten screwed me up **

**Graphic violence warning don't read while eating or before trying to sleep YOU'VE BEEN WARNED**

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Three days into there mission Tanka and Hinoko had spotted there target. A small band of about two hundred rouge ninja. Ayame looked at the two jonin in front of her, "so what's the plan"

"To kill every thing that's not on your side," Tanka told her blankly

"Well I know that but how are we going to do that"

Tanka and her sister looked at each other "we run in and kill them all" then they charged into the camp full of well armed men. 

Tanka was fighting a bunch of guys with various weapons. Well one of them accidentally cut her arm, "bitch" with that she cut his head off, causing blood to cover her body. Then just to freak out the other people, she licked the blood off her weapon. Using one of her favorite weapons, a shoe with spikes fastened to the top, she roundhouse kicked the next attacker in the side, and she pulled the shoe out taking half of his face with it.

Hinoko hadn't bothered to take out her blades out; instead she was using gloves that had four inch spikes sticking out the knuckles. When she was attacked by the leader of the group she took a knife hand and rammed it through, stopping at the knuckles his rib cage and ripped his lung out. "Didn't your mother ever tell you not to attack girls," she said as she stepped on his head crushing it, when the next stupid person came around she uppercuted him in the gut, causing his intestines to spill. 

Ayame wasn't doing as well as her teachers and she was pretty well bloodied up. She was about to be decapitated when Tanka came and saved her stabbing the assailant through the skull. 

Tanka and Hinoko were back to back surrounded by what was left of the advanced task force. Hinoko yelled to he sister, "So you want have fun or finish them fast."

"I'm hungry lets finish them off"

"You take the honor"

"Thanks" and with that Tanka put her katana away. Hinoko ran like a bat out of hell grabbed Ayame, who had been knocked out at some point. Tanka's eyes turned a bright gold her canines extended and her claws became more visible. She let a howl out that could make the toughest man wet himself, which some did. She became so fast that most only saw her seconds before they died. She ripped some heads off there perches, bit major arteries in the necks of men, ripped limb off the bodies, and pulled out the spine of another. She jumped on one man's shoulders grabbed his head and stood up, completely severing his head from the shoulders. Some tried to run but it was useless Tanka spotted them and the running just fueled her more, she became like a wolf slaughtering a rabbit. When she was done all that was left was a pile of unrecognizable body parts. Yet she was still tearing up like they were still alive.

Hinoko knew that Tanka was done but having trouble getting out of her demon form. Ayame had just woken up, "look what ever happens stay here." Hinoko knew that it was blood lust that was making her sister crazy, she also knew that helping her meant she had to use her demon form also. In an instant her eyes went from red to silver and she ran in after her sister. 

Ayame sat in horror as she saw them fighting each other. She watched as her mentors ripped, clawed and bit at each other. She saw Hinoko get thrown in to a tree and her sister go to rip out her throat. She watched as she saw Tanka finally get beat in to submission. 

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the next day

Tanka woke up with terrible headache, "a feel like I got hit by a truck"

"Not quite a truck" Hinoko said smiling down at her, "hey how long had in been since you had used your demon form."

"A couple of years. Why?"

"Because you lost control"

"Oh damn does that mean that you had to kick my ass"

"Pretty much, you need to work on that. Oh and I think we freaked out the little one"

"so I got some splain' to do"

"Yep"

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Tanka left the tent to find Ayame poking the fire with a stick. "Hey sorry bout the other day."

"HN, o-oh sorry I spaced out"

"So I bet you have some questions"

"Um well"

"Ah, it's okay. Here I'll tell you the whole story. Okay you know about the tailed demons right"

"Y-yes"

"My mother the seven tailed wolf married a man from Konoha. He was a calm, strong, and caring man. Well I don't remember him as well a Hinoko. But not to long after they had two daughters, Hinoko and me. Well after the Kuubi attack my mom was murdered. When I was six my dad died on a mission at the hands of the same man who had killed my mom. When Hinoko was twelve she unlocked the demon form by accident. Her teammates died at the hands of enemy ninja and she got pissed and tore them to bits. Well being part demon we have a very hard-to-control blood lust. She has very little recollection of the week that she did that. You following me?"

"Yes"

"She eventually mastered the form so she can control it. She taught me how to control it to but it had been so long since I had used it I had no control any more, and that is what happened to me the other day. If Hinoko hadn't been there I would still probably there ripping bodies apart till I passed out or died from exestuation."

"How come she had to use her form to get you to stop?"

"Well we a part wolf so one of us has to be the top bitch" Tanka said with a big Naruto like grin. "On a more embarrassing topic who were you daydreaming about earlier?"

"Ki—no one" she said so quietly most people wouldn't be able to here, but Tanka isn't most people.

"You were thinking about the pervert. What did he do to my sweet innocent little genin?" Tanka said shaking her shoulders.

"N-n-nothing"

"By your reaction you're lying, plus I had figured it out already. He returned you smelling of sex. Besides, you can't lie to me"

"Damn"

"My evil plan worked. You're becoming one of us"

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In Suna

Gaara talking to his sister who had come home for a little to see him, "Temari I think that I'm going to ask Tanka to marry me"

Temari shot the water she was drinking all over her littler brother. "What?!" she choked "When did you decide this?"

"Eww now I'm wet. A few days ago"

"Why?"

"Well now that she is not here I guess really miss her and well I kinda want to make her mine and only mine."

"Awww aren't you cute. My little, blood crazed, former demon container, brother, has fallen in love." She said running (the best a six month pregnant woman with twins could) to give her brother a hug. 

"Temari stop your freaking me out."

"A lot of people keep telling me tha—ow damn kids" she said as the babies started to kick.

"Ooh let me feel the babies kicking" Gaara said putting his hand on his sister's belly to fell the babies kicking, "I can't wait to have my own"

Temari couldn't help but to laugh thinking about what Tanka said before she left.

_Flash back_

"_You know Gaara wants to have kids"_

"_Well if he wants them so bad he can get himself pregnant"_

_End flash back_

Gaara gave his sister a dumb look making her laugh harder. 

"What? Why are you laughing at me?"

"Because of something Tanka said"

"What she say about me?"

"Something along the lines of if you want kids so bad get your self pregnant"

"What? How would that work?"

"I don't know. But imagining you with a baby bump is pretty damn funny"

"Eww that's yucky"

"Yes it is, but it's also funny as hell"

"I don't like you any more"

"I don't care. Oh damn now I gotta pee"

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In Konoha 

Naruto and Hinata were sitting on there favorite bench in the park. Hinata was watching the birds play in the sky. Naruto was well asleep. Hinata looked up to smack him in the head, when she saw her sister with Konohamaru. "What the hell," she whispered to herself. 

"WA, I wasn't sleeping"

"Shh"

"Huh"

"In spy on little sister mode"

"Huh"

"Go back to sleep"

"Okay" and he tilted his head back and went back to sleep.

Hinata sat and watched her sister for a while. Just as she thought nothing was going to happen, Hanabi kissed Konohamaru, then they started to make out. _Score blackmail_ she thought taking out her pencam Tanka gave her. After snapping a few shots, she looked up at her sleeping boyfriend, "Hey sleepy head I'm hungry, you want some ramen."

"Do you even have to ask?"

"Well go get me some tacos. Then you can get your own ramen."

"How am I going to get tacos we're banned from the mall?"

"I don't know; get Konohamaru to get them for you"

"Fine," Naruto pouted, "hey kid I got a job for you"

Konohamaru looked over "alright boss" he said walking over, Hanabi a few steps behind.

"Okay I need half dozen tacos in less then twenty minutes"

"What? Why don't you get them your self?"

"Because I got banned from the mall, somebody of on importance to you needs them"

"Fine by you owe me"

"Deal" and with Konohamaru walked away leaving Hanabi to be integrated by her sister.

"So Hinabi how long have you two been going out" Hinata pried.

"What how- I have no clue what you talking about."

"Yes you do. I just saw you making out with him."

"No you didn't, um we were just training."

"Uh ha yeah sure you were"

"Well what if dad found out about your secret…s"

"Then we both would be dead. Because I would kill you then dad would kill me, Naruto, and everyone that knew." 

Just as that happened Konohamaru showed up with four bags of tacos, "hey I forgot exactly what kind you wanted so I got all the different kinds that there were." The taco shop had very many different types of tacos there's, beef, chicken, shrimp, fish, vegetable, and tofu plus the crunchy or soft part. So he had seventy-two tacos, but if you think about it Naruto never told him what kind to get.

"Uuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I think we need reinforcements."

"CALL IN THE CALVARY," Hinata shouted, "anyone know Tenten's number"

"Let's just go to Tanka's house somebody will eat them" (Naruto)** (I'm being lazy)**

"Wait isn't that where the scary dog lady with that made me carry cake lives."

"…… Hinoko?"

"Yeah her"

"You need help boy… now carry tacos"

"B-b-b-b-but I don't wanna!" 

"And I don't care"

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at Tanka's house

Tenten looked around the room "Neji I'm bored"

"And, I've got a case of the munchies"

"Aw come on you had the pot and didn't share"

"Nope" he said falling off the chair "ow"

"TEMARI, NEJI…wait she's out of town… HINATA… Damn she's not home… TAN—no on a mission. Dammit now I can't get him in trouble." So she flung a remote at him, and Neji just rolled over and fell asleep. "Now to play fling random things at Neji" then she noticed a kunai at the end of the couch. She desperately tried to reach it, but her belly was in the way, "gaaah, NEJI WAKE YOU TOASTED ASS UP"

"Fine…what"

"Hand me the kunai at the end of the couch"

"Here"

"Okay you can go to sleep"

"Thanks" just a soon a he said that Tenten flung the kunai a hit him square in the ass, "OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW MY ASS, THERE'S SOMETHING STICKING OUT OF IT" that's when Hinata, Naruto, and the tacos walked in.

Hinata was watching her cousin running in little circles holding his ass, "what the hell happened"

"Neji got hold of the pot. So I hit him in the ass with a kunai."

"Where is the pot?"

"I don't know, and if I did do you think I would in such a state to throw that so perfectly"

"You have a point"

"Thank you and do I smell tacos"

"Yep, but the soft chicken ones are mine"

"Fine, here you go"

Tenten took a bite of the first taco, which happened to be tofu, "eww this is yucky" and she shoved it into Neji's mouth, then she started to lick Hinata's arm.

"Eww, we all know that according to Tanka that Temari tastes the best"

Naruto looked up from his ramen, "why did all the girls taste each other"

"First of all it was Tanka and, second she was doing in to mess with Kiba, and third I don't like to have my face licked"

"But you like when I lick your—"he didn't get to finish his statement because a madly blushing Hinata shoved a taco in his mouth

Tenten was laughing "Hinata likes being—"Hinata shoved a taco in her mouth

"Eww that's nasty you like—"she put a taco in her sister's mouth

"Hinata likes being licked. What do you like licked, hmm" Neji said dancing around the room

"Neji your hair is on fire"

"Wha?"

"NEJI YOUR HAIR'S ON FIRE"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH… I wanna cookie "

"Too bad you ain't getting one"

"Well then why don't you lick you self 

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Tanka and Hinoko were walking to the akasuki hide out when Hinoko grabbed Tanka's arm "hey Tanka I have some thing to tell you" she said with a very embarrassed look on her face.

"What is it can't be any thing bad"

"Well you um... are kinda an aunt"

"What you had a baby and didn't tell me"

"Well I wanted to but, me and Tobi decided that it would be best for him if know one in Konoha knew about him."

"So it's a boy. Please tell me it's not Tobi JR."

"Yes and his name is Shinku"

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**Neji made a funny. Since I lied to you last chapter there's a poll on my home page for you to choose the first lemon which I won't do unless I get five reviews. So please review. Tobi might cry. T.T**


	12. no hair

Chapter twelve

1**Chapter twelve**

**To let my faithful non existent fans know we had a time skip of three months and Temari and Tenten are big fat pregnant **

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Temari sat in the bedroom trying to see over her belly she knew that they were coming out soon but, she wanted to see her toes soon, and walk without waddling. _Ugh I guess I got to get out of bed,_ she thought rolling out of her bed. She walked out into the living room where Tenten was eating her favorite tacos.(big surprise there) Temari looked at her friend in the same predicament she couldn't help but to laugh at her friend whom was using her belly as a table. When Hinata came in she was big but not as close as Tenten and herself. Temari couldn't help but be grateful that she was due any day now. Tenten had about another month to go. But Hinata wasn't due till late February. Temari couldn't help but to think,_ hey it would be funny if there kid was born on leap day. Yeah like what are the odds of that happing._ Temari went in to the kitchen to see if Tenten had eaten all the tacos which she did.

Temari suddenly didn't feel hungry any more instead she went back to the living room where she plopped down on the couch "hey guys I've decided that I'm going to kill Shikamaru after the babies are grown. But for now I'm going to kill Tenten for eating all the tacos"

"Wha?" Tenten said very confused

"Oh nothin–" Temari winced a the sudden pain she felt "oh damn its time"

"Huh" said a very confused Tenten

"Dumb ass I AM HAVING MY BABIES"

"Huh... OH...OH NO AH" and she started to panic and run in little circles. "Waahh!! Get the bag! Get the car!! Get me a taco!!"

Hinata had grabbed the hospital bag Temari had prepared and was on her cell phone calling Shikamaru, Neji, Naruto, and well, everyone in the village.

Tenten was still panicking so Temari bitch-slapped her. "Shut the fuck up and get the car!"

Hinata helped Temari out of the house and into the car. She sat down in the driver's seat and started the car.

At the Hospital

Shikamaru was running, yes, running, and I repeat, _running_, to the room where Temari was with Naruto, Neji, Kankuro, and Gaara hot on his heels. They had been out getting lunch when Temari's water had broken.

When Shikamaru reached the room, he saw Temari screaming at Hinata and Tenten, Hinata trying to calm her down, and Tenten was straight up sobbing.

"NARA SHIKAMARU!! GET YOU'RE LAZY ASS OVER HERE!!" Temari said, then in a dangerous tone, added, "Now."

"Coming" Shikamaru stated walking over to his very angry, vary scary, very big girlfriend.

_I must have a death wish_. Was the last thing Shikamaru thought before he took her hand and sat behind her ready for what ever he had in store for the longest day of his life?

Then the doctor looked at him, "you ready"

Shikamaru looked down at Temari one last time before he replied "as ready as I'll ever be"

"Good because things are about to start"

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out side the room

Hinata was still trying to calm a freaking out Tenten and Neji was standing in front of the vending making the biggest decision of his life, which snack to buy. Kankuro and Gaara were playing concentration, trying not to worry about Temari. Naruto was praying to Kami/ Jashin/ any god that would listen that Hinata would not be this scary and that she would not have twins. He shuddered then, thinking of twins.

4 friggin' hours later

Hinata had calmed down Tenten, but was now trying to assure Naruto she wouldn't kill him except every time she got near he screamed "Kyuubi's taste good, Naruto's don't!!" Neji was now watching as Tenten ate the snack that had taking him three and a half hours to pick. Kankuro was being accused of cheating in Slaps (a game) by Gaara and after a minute they started playing Rock, Paper, Scissors.

After a while, Shikamaru walked out of the room, hand bandaged, with a terrified look stuck on his face, hair half pulled out, and walking funny. He turned to them and smiled meekly, "I'm a father." And he passed out.

"Um... S-Shikamaru? A-are you ok?" Hinata kneeled next to him and poked him.

"I think she killed him."

"DOCTOR!! CODE RED!! CODE GREEN!! CODE BLUE!! CODE RAINBOW!! TEMARI KILLED SHIKAMARU!! DOCTOR!!" Naruto screamed, running up and down the hall.

One of the doctors walked over, looked down at Shikamaru, and poured the rest of his coffee on his crouch. Shikamaru jumped up screaming, "Holy shit!! My balls are on fire!!"

"That sounds like a personal problem,"

Gaara was hopping up and down, "I wanna see the babies!!"

"I don't think you wanna go in there yet" Shikamaru said recovering from the pain, "there still cleaning them up, you can see them in a few minutes."

Gaara dropped his head in disappointment, "damn"

The doctor came out the room, "you can come see them now"

"YAY!!" Gaara was hopping like a bunny on crack. Shikamaru shook his head a led him in the room.

Temari sat in the hospital holding her twins the boy who had a full head of hair he had the same blue green eyes as his mother and kept wiggling around. He also had as Temari put it his father's massively oversized ears. The girl on the other hand she was mostly bald with some dark hairs on her head, for the little time she had her eyes open they saw the midnight blue orbs. Temari looked at them for a few moments when her mildly psychotic little brother ran into the room. She looked up at Gaara and gave him a death glare to end all death glares, "be quiet or I will kill you," she warned

"Yes ma'm. So what ya name them?"

"Ruiko," she said gesturing to the boy, "and Kaori"

"Temari why does the boy have more hair than the girl" Gaara said

Temari sweat dropped at her brother's stupidity "Gaara her hair will grow in. you were born completely bald"

"What…no you're lying"

"You need help"

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Tanka and Hinoko finally got down to the akatsuki hide out. Hinoko was showing her sister around when they came to her room. They walked in to find a baby around a year old, with two wolf ears and black hair crawling on the floor. Tanka picked him up and looked at him for a second and promptly put him back on the floor. She looked to Hinoko and with a straight face said, "Can I punt it"

"No you can not punt the baby"

"But it's cute, little, and needs to be punted"

"No you can't punt the baby you'll break it, and I can't dump him on someone because I have some where to be"

Shinku examined his aunt and started to play with her toes. As soon as she wasn't paying attention he bit down on her shin. And being quarter demon he already had teeth and fangs for that matter. Tanka looked at her sister "now I really have to punt it"

"Just bite him back, that's what me and Tobi do"

Tanka did as she was told and he let go instantly. Ayame went to pick him up to play with him, as she picked him up she got a whiff of something awful, and passed him on to his mother. Hinoko smelled it to and gave him to Hidan. When Hidan tried to change Shniku's diaper but got peed on. And handed him back to his mother ranting about Jashin or something.

Tanka was rolling on the floor laughing, "he doesn't need to be punted now, he be funny"

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**Oh damn there are babies now **

**remember vote 4 teh lemony goodness now the options are:**

**Gaara and Tanka**

**Kiba and Ayame**

**Hinoko and Tobi**

**Shikamaru and Temari**

**Drop a review to let me know **

**And everyone SMILE DAMMIT**


	13. mini neji

1Chapter 13

Okay for my non existent adoring fans chapter lucky number thirteen

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Tenten sat in the living room on the couch. _I'm hungry._ "NEJI GET ME A TACO" she screamed

"NO" was all that came form the kitchen where Neji was making tacos.

"I WANNA TACO"

"NO"

"I'M GOING TO SCREAM IF YOU DON'T MAKE ME ONE"

"NO"

"TACO, TACO, TACO, TACO…I gotta pe-" and her water broke all over the couch "dammit to hell. NEJI"

"I'M NOT GOING TO MAKE YOU A FUCKING TACO"

"WE NEED TO LEAVE"

"WERE NOT GOING TO GET TACOS"

A very peeved Temari walked in the room "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SCREAMING ABOUT"

"MY WATER BROKE"

"WELL THAT'S NOT GOOD"

"I KNOW"

Hinata walked into the room "WHY ARE YOU TWO SCREAMING I'M TRYING TO SLEEP HERE"

"SORRY, BUT TENTEN'S WATER BROKE"

"WELL THEN WE SHOULD GO TO THE HOSPITAL"

"NEJI"

"GOD DAMMIT" Neji walked into the room "I'M NOT GOING TO MAKE YOU A FUCKING TACO "

"NOT THAT YOU FOOL WE NEED TO GO"

"Huh"said a half confused Neji

"YOU IDIOT THE BABY"

'Oh...OH AHHHHHHHHHHHH THE BABY'S COMING

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Tanka was sitting in her sister's room over, the last month she had come to realize that the akatsuki were a bunch of crack heads. But, she had offered to watch her cute little nefew, to get away from the crack heads, but all he was doing was sleeping and mumbling random shit. When Ayame came in to the room the little boy was awake and alive and funny. She would get on the floor with the little boy and play silly little baby games with him. Tanka for some reason decided at that moment in time was the time to start her genin training. "Hey Ayame get you shit together we are going to spar"

all the color left the poor girl's face and she gulped hard. She had seen Tanka's skill before she knew that it was going to hurt to spar with her. But still she slowly got up and followed her sensei out of the room.

When they reached the training ground tanka threw a bokken at her. Ayame ducked under the wooden blade. Tanka gave her student an impatient look "go get it that will be your new weapon for a few months my sister and I will be you opponents. Just as a warning come at me like you going to kill me."

Ayame grabbed the bokken and held it like she thought she should.

Tanka began to laugh, "let me show you the basics," Tanka grabbed the blade from her "look this is not a weapon it is part of your arm, part of your body and soul. Hold it th way it feels naturally. Let the blade become part of you."

Ayame looked like tanka was trying to explain the quadratic formula to a puppy, "how do you let a stick become part of you," Ayame asked with a cocked eyebrow

"Sit down," tanka commanded, "now close your eyes, and breath in slowly"

Ayame did as she was told and tanka handed her the blade. "Now stop thinking of it as a weapon and think about the happiest thing you ever did, then the first life you ever took, and finally you darkest secret" Ayame thought of hen she passed out of the academy. the first person she ever killed, how she saw the light leave his eyes and his body go limp into the lifeless pile that was left. And finally her thoughts went to all the things that she had done with Kiba, oh so many things that she would never tell anyone. But when she opened her eyes back up it was then she realized that she was now holding the blade. "Good, now for basic movements"

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at the hospital, neji was holding Tenten's hand. He never knew that she was this strong he was thinking that he was going to need a new hand after this experience. He had about three second of relief before she started to squeeze the life out of his hand again. The doctor look at tenten, "come on almost there one or two more and she'll be out." neji got one more bone crushing squeeze to his hand then heard the happiest sound of his hands life, a screaming baby. He wiped the sweat off Tenten's brow "you two are absolutely the most beautiful things I have ever seen" he said placing a kiss on he forehead.

The nurses had just finished cleaning up the baby. They handed tenten the bundle wrapped in pink. She looked down at the new life, she had her fathers rather large forehead and a dark puff of hair on her head. When she opened her eyes tenten saw the small lavender eyes tenten knew that there was going to be trouble there baby had Byakugan they were in for an even longer harder road ahead then they had planned. She looked up at neji who looked like he wanted to die. She knew he would rather die than see his child with a curse mark. She smiled at him "don't worry Tomoko will be fine we wont let them do that to her."

a leery smile crossed his face he had hoped and prayed that she would have big beautiful eyes like her mother rather than the cold lifeless eyes of his clan. _'Now she will only be know as the prodigy daughter'. _He thought coldly to himself. '_But, I won't let it happen. I swear on my life and hers' _

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tanka was running Ayame through the basic blocks she was barking out the block numbers, "one, three, four, two," Ayame tried to keep up with her teacher but was getting fatigued and the bokken becoming heaver in her hands. Tanka stopped and told Ayame to rest. As soon as they stopped Ayame's arms dropped and felt like dead fish at her sides. She collapsed on the floor. She hadn't noticed that Tanka had left the room she just laid on th floor breathing hard.

Tanka reentered the room with some tea for them. She looked at her student on the floor panting, "you use too much when you block, you need to use less power. Power is some times useful but if you put everything into every block you run out of steam. You use the power from your enemy's attack to block them out of the way" she explained "use the angle of your blade to move them out of the way for an opening then put every thing into your attack."

Ayame took a sip of her tea and spit it out all over herself, "it's hot"

"Duh, I just made it" tanka said patting her on the head, "well that's a long enough break let's go"

"Uhhh, but I just got feeling back in my arms"

"Two bad, get ready because now we are going to actually spar"

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**oh no, Neji's making oaths again **

**Tanka's teaching how will Ayame's first sparing lesson go **

**tune in next time for days of our ninjas... te hee jk **

**don't forget vote's still up for the lemony goodness choose one plz**

**Tanka and Gaara**

**Hinoko and Tobi**

**Ayame and Kiba**

**Temari and Shika-shika-kun**

**review 2 vote and I'm open 2 suggestions. **

**In till next time...SMILE DAMMIT XD **


	14. sparring

1**Chapter 14**

**2 all who of those that voted last time thank u ...Tanka and gaa-gaa-kun 1 but I won't** **post till chapter 16 or17 hen tanka comes back... prbly**

**this will b a short 1. 2 let u kno **

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Ayame got into her stance she was ready for Tanka's attack now it had been about two months since she had started to train with tanka she could now if she was lucky go ten minutes before she was "dead" but tanka was a level four master. She hadn't been unfortunate enough to spar hinoko who was the person that taught tanka how to fight.

"Ready"tanka said pretty bored

"Bring it"

tanka launched at her, she parried and hit tanka with the but of her sword right in her kidney. She went to stab her it her back. Tanka turned and blocked the strike. And went to slash at her shoulder. Ayame deflected the attack to the left and kicked tanka in the face. Tanka flew across the room she looked at ayame, "looks like I'm going to have to pay attention to you now" she said spitting out blood.

"Guess you will, I will win sooner or later" ayame yelled as she charged for another attack, when she got close she dropped down to her knees after tanka hit her in the gut with the stick.

tanka looked down at the girl "look you are to predictable and need ti develop your own style so you will begin to spar other people, including hinoko. But for now rest." Tanka helped her up and to her room. "Now rest tomorrow you will work with hinoko. Remember if you lay one good blow on me or her we will buy you your own blade. So try again tomorrow"

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tanka sat in her room rubbing her jaw that kick broke one of her teeth. She was bored out of her mind she had been away from home for almost a half year and hadn't seen or heard from gaara she knew that temari and tenten had, had there kids already. She didn't know if they were boys or girls. And she was going to miss hinata get big fat pregnant. But she had a job to do. She wanted to see Gaara. It was then that she realized that she was actually in love with him.

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Hinata, Tenten, and Temari were sitting around the babies had finally gon to sleep. Temari realized Ino wasn't there bothering her, she looked over to Hinata, "hey where'd you side kick go"

"I don't know she disappeared after you had the twins"

"Hey now that I think about it so did my brother"

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Gaara was still trying to find the perfect ring for Tanka, which was easer said then done. This one was too big this one was too small, too complex, too simple..._this is not working out... maybe I can use a ring pop then buy her one with her around...no she would kill me._

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**told u a short 1 but don't worry the next one will be longer and will have more babies in it**

**and I'll tell u where Kankuro and Ino went**

**till next time ... **

**Hinoko: **_**this is the story of a squirrel **_

_**who went crazy an killed the whole world**_

_**though he looked so normal in photographs **_

_**he really creeped me out **_

**Tanka: you need help--'**


	15. new little sister

1**Chapter 15**

**hello my loving non-existent fans**

**hold on if you want 2 feel the love **

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Kiba was talking to Rukio, kiba seemed to be the only person that rukio liked. He screamed at Gaara, Naruto, Anko, and Kakashi. He never smiled for his mother, or anyone else. Just for kiba so kiba came over to the house frequently to play with the babies, and help out when shikamaru was out on missions. Kaori was always was asleep or eating or asleep or pulling her fathers hair.tomoko was eating all the time and 'talking' to her father all the time. But hinata was still with baby and was a week past her due date, and miserable.

Temari and Tenten were sitting in the living room after finally got a break from screaming babies. Temari was still working on getting rid of the baby fat, tenten on the other hand had completely lost her baby fat. Temari looked at her friend, "did I ever tell you I hate you."

"huh"

"Are you made of elastic or something"

"Huh, no."

"just kidding, hey you still up for that rematch"

"Yeah when I'm done playing mommy for a while"

"You got a deal"

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ayame was sparing with hinoko again they had been sparing together for almost a year now and she still couldn't figure out how she was moving so fast. Her katana had to be at least six feet long, three inches long and, weigh at least seventy pounds. But some how she never got hit or took out the smaller blade. Ayame always found a opening but it would always close before she could get there. She saw a new opening and lunged for it and, she finally did it and hit hinoko hard in the shoulder not fatale but a good hit. Hinoko admitted defeat and dropped her sword, "you win now tell tanka she'll get you a blade"

"O-okay" Ayame was still in shock she had done it she hit on of her teachers.

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temari was talking to kiba they had just put the babies to bed, "so I know you want one of your own you got any girls in mind" she asked him

"Um... well I know tanka's taken, but I have to say that her genin was a nice girl. Only thing is I'm older than her by like five years and well...um..."

"Hey age is only a number I fell in love with a man three years younger than me. If you want it go for it us ninja don't live long. Remember that you can't be too bold when it comes to love. People may look at you weird or disapprove, but as long as you love each other there is nothing wrong with it."

"Yeah I guess you right"

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Tanka was sitting in her room thinking about Gaara when Ayame walked into the room, "Tanka-sensei um...well I hit your sister and she told me to tell you."

"Well I guess you earned that" she said pointing at a box next to the door.

Ayame grabbed the box and walked over to where tanka was sitting. She placed th box on the bed and slowly opened it. Inside was a katana in a red sheath. The handle had a red wrapping around it. When she pulled the blade out she could see the craftsmanship in the black blade was about as long as her arm. She saw some strange markings along the blade. "Tanka-sensei it's beautiful. What are the markings for."

"That's my family's crest. Your officially one of us. I'm glad you think it's beautiful, I made it my self."

"Why did you give my a blade with your family crest on it."

"Because I can tell by the way you act that your family life sucks so I am offering you a chance to join the Mochidzuki clan."

Ayame hugged Tanka, "thank you, thank you I would love to join"

tanka smiled at her. Ayame notice tanka was happy but her mind seemed to be elsewhere. "So, mom what's eatin' ya"

"Oh hell no your not calling me mom, how bout sister"

"Fine, but what's eating you any way"

"I just miss Gaara"

"Hey I finished my training right then we can go home soon right"

"Yeah I guess" tanka sighed "so who you thinking about" she pryed

"I'll give you three guesses and the first two don't count"

"The pervert dog boy"

"Yep, I can't wait to see him again. He can be really sweet you know"

"I wouldn't know because he was always just trying to get me in bed"

"He had actually fallen in love with you but, you were gone and he needed to move on which he did"

"You really like him don't you"

"Yeah" she blushed at her comment

shinku walked into the room tanka looked down a him "where did you come from"

he looked up at her "rawr" he replied. Since she had gotten there he learned three new word thanks to his aunt, they were rawr, shit, and fuck you. Tanka was proud of her accomplishment, hinoko not so much.

Hinoko was standing in the doorway "so did she accept"

"Duh" tanka replied

"Well then get your shit and leave soon her training is done"

"We're leaving tomorrow, kay"

"Good before you teach him any thing else" hinoko said scooping up shinku.

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it was eleven-ish when hinata woke with a pain in her stomach. The baby was coming. Sh elbowed naruto "wake up it's baby time"

"You sure"

truth was there were a lot of false alarms but, this time it wasn't."WE NEED TO GO"

naruto grabbed his stuff an worked hinata to the car. Hen they got to the hospital after hinata was put in his private room he called the house.

_Ring, ring, ring...hello_ temari answered the phone

"Hey were at the hospital"

_is she actually having it now_

"Yep, come as soon as you can"

_okay... wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...see ya soon kay. Click_

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hinata had been in labor for three and a half hours when she finally got the baby all the way out. The doctor's took her away. Naruto looked down at his wife she was the happiest he had ever seen her. They waited awhile when they handed hinata there daughter. He looked down at her, she had the same hair and eyes as her. She had her fathers whisker marks on her face. But the mos noticeable feature on her was the two fox ears on top of her head.

Naruto went looking for the Kyuubi in his mind, "where are you" he sreamed

'**Right here where you left me what do you want'**

'An explanation'

'**the seal has been damaged and we have partially fused together contain part of my DNA"**

'So I cursed her'

'**You can blame me I did not tell you of this possibility'**

'Your being really nice are you okay'

'**No, just old my time kit is almost up'**

'Are you dying fuzz ball'

'**Yes, now go to your daughter'**

'Fine'

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**tanka's coming back ayame is tanka's new sister. Naruto has new issues** **and my "w" button is retarded. Kiba fell in love...with a genin**

**next time on days of our ninja time for teh lemony goodness and because I love you so much I just may put two in tell me what you think.**

**Till next time:**

**SMILE DAMMIT XD**


	16. homecumming

1**CHAPTER 16**

**there is the lemony goodness in this 4 those that are offended by that I'll put it in between a diff divider lika dis**

**LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL(FISH)LLLLL**

**kk thanks .**

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Tanka was walking home with ayame, hinoko was staying with akatsuki shinku was still too little to travel like that. They stopped tanka summoned a black and electric blue butterfly, she whispered something to it, and it flew off toward Suna.

Ayame gave her sensei/new sister a confused look, "what as that"

"Ichigo, he's like a messenger falcon but can't be killed or the message stolen from it, because he is the only on that knows what I said and will only give it to the person that it is intended for." tanka explained.

"... okay...I guess, hey you wanna make camp and spar." she said giving tanka puppy dog eyes.

"If I remember correctly there is a clearing ahead"

"Yay"

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Gaara was doing paperwork, when a black and blue butterfly flew in the window and landed on his shoulder. _Gaara_ it whispered in is head. _Message from Tanka: hey I'm coming home soon you better happen to be in Konoha then. I love you. See you then._ The butterfly flew away and out the window.

Gaara was so happy but then he remembered the he still could not find the right ring. "OH SHIT I NEED TO GET A RING" he screamed scaring the team that was walking in to report on there mission. "Sorry um... I have to go but leave the report if there any thing that need to be helped I'll call you back up here, dismissed."

"Hai"

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kankuro walked in to the kazakage's mansion with Ino not too far behind. She was carrying a small bundle of blond noise with her. They walked up to Kankuro's room and placed it on the bed where it soon fell asleep. Kankuro looked at Ino, "well I have to tell my brother I'm back" he said as he left.

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Gaara was walking the streets looking in all the jewelry stores looking for the perfect ring. He ducked into a store that sold jewelry that people had sold and they refurbished and resold. He walked over to the rings and to the left he finally saw it the perfect one it was silver with one small blood red ruby in the center with several smaller diamonds lining the left side of it. He bought it as soon as he saw it. "Ha I finally found it now to find someone to act as kazakage for a week or two so I can see tanka."

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gaara walked into his office to find is older brother waiting for him, "hi Gaara"

"Where did you go? You disappeared and just show up you had better have a good story"

"Well I knocked up Ino and well she said that she didn't want the others to see her fat so I spent the last seven months in waterfall. With Ino's aunts' house"

"Guess that will work... if you act as kazakage for the next month."

"What?! what are you going to be doing"

"Seeing tanka, purposing, and other things"

"Oh so you going to travel for three days to fuck you girlfriend"

"Yes I am"

"Well than deal"

"Good"

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Gaara was packed in record time had everything ready to go and was half way through the desert and less than a day and a half from konoha , in four hours.

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Tanka and Ayame had trashed the area they were at and had just left they had an half day's walk to konoha. "Hey you wanna send your perv of a boyfriend a message" tanka asked

"Yeah, tell him were coming through the east gate and to meet us there"

Tanka summoned Ichigo again and sent him to meet kiba and deliver the message.

"Hey Tanka I bet you I can beat you to the village"

"Why don't you put your money where your mouth is"

"I bet you if I win you have to where Anko's outfit for a month"

"And if I win" Tanka smiled "you have to make out with Sakura"

"Deal"

"Go" tanka said and bolted of in the direction of the village.

"Hey that's cheating"

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tanka had beat ayame to the village she was waiting for her to show up when kiba jumped down next to her, "hey where is she"

"And hi to you too. I don't know where she is she should be getting here soon we raced here."

"Oh what does she have to do"

"make out with sakura"

"Now that's–" he was cut off by ayame tackling him to the ground kissing him.

Tanka looked down at them "hey none of that here get a room"

"Fine" kiba said standing up and picking Ayame up bridal style and walking off toward his house.

"Well that was unexpected...guess I'll go see the people that liv in my house"

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL(COOKIE)LLLLLLLLL

Kiba and Ayame had gotten to his apartment when ayame once again threw herself at Kiba. He returned the embrace with a kiss and his tongue. Ayame grabbed his jacket and pulled it off of him. Kiba grabbed her shirt ans pulled it over her head leaving her in her bra. Kiba kissed her neck and collar bone while one hand worked on her bra and the other her pants. She bit kiba lightly on his ear and whispered, "you cant have more on than me now".

She grabbed the fish net undershirt and pulled it off. Then she undid the button of is pants and pulled them down with her teeth. Kiba pulled her back up to his face and kissed her again. When they broke again he went back to pulling her bra which he finally go off reveling her breast to the open. He began to kiss down her collar bone and chest, sopping at her nipple he began to suck on it using his thumb and forefinger to play with the other. She began to moan at the new sensation. Kiba pulled down her pants with his free hand.

Ayame removed his last article of clothing, his boxers, with her feet. Kiba pulled off her panties and threw them across the room. He decided to be mean and play with her. He rubbed his member along the inside of her thigh, she moaned loudly wanting more. He cotued to do this till she pulled his hair and told him, "you had better stop playing with me or I'll kill you". He thrust into her causing her to scream in pleasure. he slowly rocked his hips aginst her body, she begged him to go faster and he did causing her to gt louder. Kiba could feel him self about to release as ayame's walls began to close around him. Her back arched and she let out a silent scream and kiba let his seeds spill into her.as they came down kiba's lips crashed down on her's again.

Kiba rolled on to his back exhausted ayame placed one last soft kiss on his lips before falling asleep. He layed there playing with her soft black locks of hair.

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL(FIN)LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

tanka walked into the house to see teari holding two kids in her arms rocking one back.

Temari spotted tanka, "thank jashin I really need help kiba's not here to take ruiko can you hold him while I put his sister down"

"um sure" said a very unsure tanka as temari dropped the baby in her arms. The baby ponted to tanka and said 'puppy'. Tanka was shocked he can't be more than six months old and was calling her a dog. Then again this is shikamaru's kid so not to be unexpected that hewould be smart. Then a little girl with fox ears and lavender eyes crawled into the room, gave tanka a sideways look and bit down on her shin. Tanka yelped in pain and started to scream censored swear words at the baby biting her, "YOU SON OF AN HINOKO THAT MOTHER FUDGEN' HURTS GET OFF YOU LITTLE MOUSE TURD CHILD"

hinata came running in to the room laughing at tanka's plight while pulling her daughter off her. Hinata looked at tanka she hadn't changed in the last year. She looked a little sad for tanka but other then that she was normal. Hinata looked to hr friend, "so I see you've met Niaka"

"Who's kid is that so I can kill them"

"Mine"

"Good then I can kill you for two reasons now" tanka joked , "al right who parents and full name" she then commanded

"The one you holding in Sabaku no Rukio his twin sister that temari is trying to get back to sleep in the other room is Nara Kaori. This one is uzumaki Niaka. The baby with the kunai is Huuga Tomoko. If theres any thing else you wanna know tell me"

"Nope I got nothing" tanka sighed giving niaka a death glare the baby began to cry.

"Now look what you did"

"But I'm bleeding" tanka whined pointing to her shin.

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**I was going to write a gaara and tanka one but they were harder because of that whol tail thing an me bin ne at this lemon thing I went for the slightly easier one. Please review hugs and cookies for all that do. Tanka's is a wimp ain't she cant even take on a baby. XD great ain't it . So in till next time.**

**Hinoko: **_**I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts**_

_** Here they are a standing in a row**_

_** Small ones short ones some a big as your forhead**_

**Neji: my forehead is not that big**

**Hinoko: keep telling your self that**

**Neji: --**


	17. AN

Well I'm having a case of writers block so well I probly won't update 4 a few days sorry I'm open to suggestions

**Well I'm having a case of writers block so well I probly won't update 4 a few days sorry I'm open to suggestions. I love all of you that have stuck with me and I am deeply sorry for the delay. Please help me put with your suggestions. **

**Please don't hit me with fruit. (gets hit with a dead fish) ow not cool.**


	18. big day

1**Chapter 17**

**Sorry for the delay I had some trouble at school and writers block so I say thank you for staying along with me. So now to begin my faithful non-existent fans. 'nother lemon kay**

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Tanka lay peacefully in her bed sleeping dreaming about her love. Gaara watched the sleeping woman. He quietly took off his gourd and put it on the floor with a small thud. He winced and looked to see if she had woken up, luckily for him, she hadn't. he let out a sigh of relief and walked over to the bed.

He went to get in the bed that's when Tanka rolled over and punched him full force in the balls. Gaara fell to the floor and cried "what the hell I thought you were asleep"

"I can sense you coming in both meanings of the word" he answered bluntly, "and your late you were supposed to be here an hour ago. And that's only the first part of your punishment. But the rest can wait until tomorrow… for now" she pulled him into the bed in a passionate kiss.

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL (HERE'S WHAT YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR) LL

She pulled his shirt over his head and threw it across the room. She slid her hands into his pants, and let her tails stroke his face.

Gaara pulled the thin shirt off her upper body, and made quick work of her panties. He stared at the love of his life under him. He waited till she had pulled his boxers off, and then positioned himself over her entrance. As he plunged in he was greeted with a bite on the sholder. He rocked his hips to the timeless rhythm.

Tanka dug her finger nails into his back, causing it to bleed a little. She felt her climax coming along a gaara reached his. She closed around him and nearly screamed, but was sclienced by gaara's lips.

Exsusted they both collasped. Tanka laied on her favorite pillow, lisened to the sound of his heart beat and the air enter and exit his lungs, as she drifted to sleep.

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL (IT SUCKS I KNOW)LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

Early the next gaara woke to find tanka still sleeping peacefully on his chest. Not anting to wake her he slowly slid himself from under her. And went off to make breakfast for the both of them, it was going to be a long day.

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tanka woke when the warmth went away, she inhaled deeply she could smell him all around her. She sat up wondering where he had gone, sticking her nose in the air she smelled the sent of french toast and bacon making there way down the hall. So she pretended to be asleep again.

Gaara came in the room using is sand to hold up the tray and slowly walked over to her and touched her gently, "tanka dear wake up I mad your–" he was interrupted bu Tanka's lips on his.

Tanka looked into the aquamarine pools that werre his eyes, "thank you for brakfas and every thing. I missed you so much the last year."

"I missed you to. Now, eat up your food is getting cold, and I have a big day planed for you."

"What kind of day"

"Walk in the park, dancing, dinner possibly a movie"

"Cool," she said taking a bite of bacon, "this is good"

"I know I'm the best chef in the world. It's a family trait my brother missed out on"

Tanka giggled, then inhaled the rest of her food. "Alright let's go"

"Tanka you might ant to put on some cloths"

"Um...well I guess your right" she blushed, then got up and put on her favorite hoodie and some nice jeans on. Gaara quickly put on his shirt and they both left.

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after gaara came back from grabbing his wallet. They headed off to the hokage mountain. When they got there she realized that gaara had made them a picnic and had someone deliver it up there.

"Since when do I have the most romatic and sweetest boyfriend in the world" tanka sighed

"Since you started to go out with me"

"Who knew the crazy one that has killed the most people is the mostt kind and loving person I have ever been with"

"Because he has changed since then and is madly in love with the pyscotic half demon"

"Good because she would be pissed if he wasn't"

"Hey what do you want to do the food is in the coolers e have some time till we have to eat."

"Spar"

"Uhh," gaara sighed "why would you want to do that"

"Because you sit on your butt to much your getting squishy"

"Fine we can spar"

"Take it off"

"Homie say wah"

"Take off you sand armor"

"Fine"

After they sparred for a wile and were tired, they sat down to eat. Gaara had made steak on a stake, instant ramen, and dango to finish it all off. All Tanka's favorites, she was beginning to wonder if she missed something. But she figured if she did he would have reminded her. Who was she to care, he was her gaara and she could keep him happy no matter what.

After they ate all but th ramen which she wasn't in the mood for. After that gaara took her to te club that they had gone to when they first started dating. When they got in she saw all her friends and there children. She turned to look at gaara who was on one knee.

"Tanka," he began, "I realized not to long after you left that you have filled the void in my heart that the years of assassins and hatred toward me created. I love you and would

you be mine forever. Will you marry me."

Tanka was totally stunned. She stood there for a few seconds and then did a very un tanka like thing and...fainted.

She woke a few seconds later then screamed, "HELL YEAH" every one in the room laughed at Tanka's reaction.

Gaara shook his head at her, "Now, love...lets dance"

"DJ cue the music" as she said that, the speakers kicked up and 'listen to your heart' **(by D.H.T.)** began to play.

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**lemon suks I no but it had to b. gaara's so romatical ain't he. Tanka was ... speechless abasing **


	19. pikachu

Chapter 18

1**Chapter 18**

**Last I checked 757 hits thanks but no one reviewed I take any thing so plz rxr**

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Tanka woke on Gaara's chest again; she decided to make breakfast for him for once. She silently slipped off him careful not to wake him. She walked toward the kitchen wearing nothing but Gaara's shirt and boxers.

She looked through the cabinets in the kitchen trying to find some thing to make. She was feeling too tired to make any thing hard so, she made Eggo waffles and orange juice from the can for him. An epic chef Tanka is not but, she as smart enough to make him some thing for a change. But, she did decide to have Temari teach her how to cook at some point in time before she got married.

She was so excited as she looked down at her finger again just to make sure it wasn't just a dream, with really good sex at the end. She held down a squeal of excitement, and got his breakfast together and took it down the hall to him.

When she got there, Gaara was looking for his clothes. He found them on Tanka, he shook his head, and "can I at least have my underwear back."

She gave him a cute little pout, "but there so comfy"

"But the rest of mine are really dirty or ripped up thanks to you"

"Fine, there to big for me any way... which reminds me to ask you," She said as she slipped them down, "why do you have pikachu undies?"

"Um...Temari aka pikachu bought them for me on my last birthday as a gag gift so she could always be on my case about thing like brushing my teeth and taking out the garbage and stuff, ya know what I'm talking about."

"Sure I do...tee he I'm gonna to get her kids to call her pikachu" she giggled

"Let's eat before the waffles gets soggy"

Tanka took a bite, instantly her nose scrunched up and she stuck her tongue out, "eww yucky soggy waffles"

Gaara couldn't help but laugh at her "you make the cutest faces"

"I'll show you cute"

"I'm shaking in my boots"

"How can you, you're only in your underwear"

"How 'bout I take you out for breakfast...lunch. How late is it?"

"Four in the after noon."

"Damn I think that we mine as well wait for dinner. What do you want?"

"I'll get Temari to make it I'll help you watch the babies"

"Okay"

"Yayz"

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Temari was pooped between babies and her brother she had gotten no sleep on top of that Shikamaru was on a mission for at least the next week. She was finally getting to take a nap when Tanka popped into the room talking about dinner. " fine I'll make dinner if you and Gaara take kaori and Ruiko out tomorrow night."

"Deal, I'll take the mini monsters out, and you make dinner"

"So I'm guessing you want to help with dinner since you're going to be sabku no Tanka"

"Okay pikachu"

"Damn it how did you find out about that?"

"Your brother"

"No surprise there how'd you get it out of him?"

"Asked him why he had pikachu underwear"

"Figures," Temari sighed, "so let's get started on dinner. Hmm I think we'll do some thing easy like spaghetti"

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In the other room Gaara was playing with the babies Kaori after seven months of sleeping finally woke up and was her uncles girl they were the best of friends. Rukio on the other hand still didn't like Gaara... still.

Kiba came in after a while with Ayame clinging to his arm. Rukio lit up and wobbly walked over to his favorite ninja, "Kiki where's Aki at"

"He went to play with the other dogs"

"Kays can we get some ice cweam"

"Sure, after dinner"

"Yayz" and the boy wobbled off

"Hi Gaara how are you." Kiba smiled at his former rival

"Well... I'm going to get married to the woman of my dreams, I'm finally loved, and I have all the power I could need... so life is good"

"Well I didn't need all that so after you get married what's the plan, kids, and grandkids.

"Sadly no to the kids Tanka refuses to even think about having kids"

"Why"

"I don't know"

"Well you do know she had it pretty rough as a kid being born around the time of the kyuubi attack, and being shunned most of her life to the point of leaving the village till you sister convinced her to come back. Losing both of her parents at a young age. Maybe she doesn't want those things to happed to her child... or maybe she doesn't want any one to see her fat"

"Damn I didn't know you knew her that well"

"We were good friends through the academy years she passed out two years before me then left the village with her sister. I was the last person to see her that day"

_Flashback_

"_Hey kibble brain I need to talk to you real quick" Tanka yelled from behind him_

"_What do you want wolf face"_

"_Well I wanted to say bye before I leave. I don't know how long ill be gone"_

"_You have a mission already" _

"_Well no but me my sister and Anko-sensei are leaving tonight for a long time. We have had enough of this place." _

"_Oh bye," said a very heartbroken Kiba "well um... good luck...well see you"_

_End flash back_

Gaara looked at the man before him "so you use to be her best friend and she just left you here. Dude you're stronger than most people. You moved on at least."

"Well you know how I felt when she came back, and she got out of the itty bitty titty committee, and was looking for me I let other things instead of my brain think and fucked that up. But, I don't think we were meant to be. Ayame is perfect in so many more ways and you and Tanka understand each other better then I ever did. So in this case, we both won right"

"I'd say so. Hey we're taking the kids to the park tomorrow you guys wanna come with; you're the only one Rukio likes any way"

"Deal"

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The next day at the park. Gaara, Tanka, Kiba, and Ayame, were watching the babies play in the sand box. Gaara had conjured up the sand into two castles for them crawl and play in. Tanka and Ayame were more or less talking about the wedding.

"Tanka I'm so excited you're getting married. Have you told Hinoko yet," Ayame exclaimed.

"I sent Ichigo this morning he or Renji haven't come back with her response yet, so I don't know what she thinks"

"Okay, but who is going to be your maid of honor."

"Kiba"

Kiba inhaled too much air and began to choke, "I am NOT wearing a dress"

"It was all worth it for that face," Tanka said as she and Ayame began to laugh hysterically.

After they caught there breath Tanka finally said, "it will probably be Temari, but you and Tenten are definitely bridesmaids... my sister is useless at these kinds of things. Hey Gaara have you thought about your groomsmen and best man yet"

"Um...well" gaara stammered, "No"

"Typical male" Tanka sighed, "Rukio crying"

"How do you know you can't even see them" Kiba exclaimed. Tanka just pointed to her ears. "Oh yeah I remember now."

He got up and walked over and got Rukio. Apparently his sister threw sand in his eyes, with some help from uncle Gaara the sand out in a jiffy. After Tanka had properly punished Kaori, they all went out for ice cream.

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Later after ice cream and the zoo, Tanka and Gaara brought the two sleeping babies back to there mother who was passed out on the couch. They quietly got the woman off the couch and in to her bed.

Tanka went into the kitchen to make one of the few things she was good at cooking, steak and potatoes. After she had cooked up her specialty. She sat on the roof with Gaara and ate her dinner.

Gaara decided to ask her about there future again, "um... Tanka I have a question to ask you"

"Shoot"

"Why don't you want kids?"

"Because I don't want people to see me fat"

"You're lying, you looked down and got quite when you said that so, tell me the truth"

"Fine, I just don't anyone too live the lives we did. We both have had really fucked up lives, being hated for some thing we can't control. I feel so sorry for Naruto's kid she will always be ridiculed by a bunch of asshole's that think she's a monster. She won't have a chance in some people's books. I don't ant that for any of my kids, and the only way to get that is to not have any kids."

"Well look's like you have a point there, but they wouldn't live here they would be in Suna where I am respected and not feared. Plus I would not let any thing happen to them. Any who I think you'd be cute with a baby bump." the last comment got him smacked in the back of the head. "You're weird"

"I'll show you weird," she said as she licked across his face.

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**Gaara and Tanka are getting along and I'm not up dating till I get thirteen reviews got it but I still love you all I'm in need of suggestions -sparki**


	20. news oh shit

1**Chapter 19**

**helllloooo my peeps thanks 4 the reviews now for what I promised 2 let u no it's been 3 months since they came back. This is a realllllllly long chapter I kinda just realized this when it twas 5 pages long so sorry. Remember my 'w' is retarded so if any are missing tell me.**

**Thought I'd bring back the chat room remember 'blah' are chat quotes**

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Gaara sat in his office doing paperwork, when Ichigo flew into the room. Ichigo landed on his shoulder. 'You die. Want to know why? Come here.' was the whole message at that the small butterfly left the room, in a cloud of smoke.

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One hour earlier

Tanka sat on the roof looking at the sky, a storm was forming, this was her favorite place to sit and think. The wedding planning had taken a toll on her. And Gaara had to go back to Suna the week before. On top of everything she wasn't feeling well. And she had just found out a month and a half ago Ayame was with child. All the screaming kids had made her life stressful. Easy to say Tanka was on the edge of a mental break down.

She was at her safe place where all of her stresses couldn't get her, but her peace was short lived when she threw up all over her self and the roof. "Ugh... I must be coming down with something. Guess I'll go talk to Temari she'll know what's up" she jumped down off the roof and staggered she probably wouldn't have if she didn't have to throw up again.

When she walked into the kitchen Temari, Hinata, and Tenten were arguing weather or not to throw Tanka a bachelor party. Tanka walked over, "hey guys is it going to rain today"

"No, don't think the storm is going to hit" Hinata gave her a crooked look

"Well the some one needs to hose down the sidewalk and the roof 'cause I just barfed all over them"

"Lovely, any thing else hurt," Temari sighed

"No I just felt the need to throw up"

"Hinata," Temari ordered

"I got it, byakugan" she scanned Tanka for a moment, "you tell her she scares me"

Temari looked at Tanka straight in the face, "Tanka... (Sigh) your pregnant"

"...Stop kidding"

"I'm not"

"...WHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!"

"This is the part where I make my grand exit" Tenten whispered

"YOU GO NOWHERE" Tanka threatened Tanka, "...I need a drink"

"Tanka you can't have one"

"I know, but...ugh I'm going to kill Gaara" she summoned up Ichigo and gave him a message. He flew off to Suna.

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Later on Gaara got on his computer and logged on to the old chat room.

'Wolfgirlsplaything has logged on' Gaara laughed at his screen name "I really need to change that" he thought out loud.

'Hello is anyone on'

(Ten minutes later)

'IAMGOING2KILLGAARA has logged on'

'Y m I dead'

'U wanna know'

'Y else would I ask'

'Fuker u got me pregnant'

'...' was what he typed but in his office he was dancing like a mad man "I'm going to be a daddy" he screamed dancing on his desk. He regained his composure and went back to his computer. 'Love I m sorry it waz an accident plz forgive me'

'Idk I might'

'Plz pls if u kill me who will wait on u hand and foot, take care of the baby and run the sand village'

'U have a point'

'Luv ya I hav this thing called work 2 do'

'C u l8tr' 'IMIGHTNOTKILLGAARA has logged off

'DAHAPPYDADDY has logged off' Gaara sighed as he turned the computer off. "Well she isn't gonna kill me...much...I hope.

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Tanka sat in front of her computer she had just finished talking to Gaara. She sat there till Ayame ruined her quiet by busting into the room. "OMG I just heard you're going to have a baby too. They will be the best of friends our kids. I'm Sooo excited at think we will both be mothers."

Her last comment hit Tanka like a herd of elephants. _I am going to be a mother I'll have to take care of a baby. How will I know what to do? What if I break it?_ _What if I'm a bad mother? _She thought. "What have I done?" Tanka whispered.

Ayame looked at her sister "what do you mean?"

"I-I-I can't have a kid. I'm a ninja, a tool use to kill other tools, not a mother. I can't care or love any thing"

"Tanka you are lying to yourself. You are very loving, kind, and caring. Look at me I was afraid of my own shadow. You and your sister adopted me into this kind family took care of me like your daughter as I see you as the mother I never got to know or have. If not for you mostly I would still live in tat bastard of a father's house as a scared little genin. You love and care more that you think. Plus you won't be alone you will have me, Kiba, Temari, Hinata, Hinoko, Shikamaru, Naruto and most of all Gaara. You have a small army of help"

"Thanks but... I still don't know... I have no way of knowing if I'm doing this right I never really had a mother. I can't remember her at all. What if I do this all wrong and hurt her."

"I don't know what to tell you I don't think any one knew what they were getting them self into when they were going to have there kids either. Truth is no one knows what to do so we are all in the dark. Any who how do you know it's a girl"

"I just have a feeling"

"Well I think mine is a boy, I hope it is any way I don't want them to look like me, or to have there daddy's big nose"

"Hahaha you have a point on the nose thing but, you're a beautiful girl, so your kid will be. Got it."

"Yeah"

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A few days later Gaara had been taken out by Kankuro to celebrate the news. An inebriated Kankuro was making Gaara a toast.

"Every one dis is my broder if ya didn't know already he be are beloved Kazekage. He gone a got his fe-fe-fean...w hat ever you call dat person you goin' to get married to, he knocked er up. So we are her to celabrate. But ifen ya didn't no he is one good guy. Hell I took him quite a while to get there; I was scared shitless of im for a while. But, now e is one of da greatest guys ya will ever meet. So now everyone raise your glass, drink hard, drink now, and drink fast, 'caus were Nins and we don't know when we'll be getting back." he finished with his motto. Just before he passed out.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxGaara got home to find Tanka and Temari waiting for him. He dropped his brother and took a double take, and shook his head, "Tankie is that you"

"Yeah and your going to bed"

"But I wanna stay up and make babies with you"

"SABAKU NO GAARA YOU WILL GO TO BED AT THIS MOMENT OR I WILL CUT YOUR BALLS OFF AND FEED THEM TO AKAMARU"

"Fine I'll go to bed"

"Good boy"

Temari dragged her other brother to his bed. When she came back she walked over to Tanka who was eating some old Chinese food she found in the fridge. "You'll be a great mom you got that whole yelling at people thing down"

"Thanks...this tastes like vomit and I would know." she said as she threw out the container.

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Tanka woke up the next morning and stared at the ceiling for an hour, _I'm hungry. I have to pee and throw up again...but I don't wanna get out of bed. I'd better get up before I yarf all over myself. _She jumped up and ran into the bathroom waking Gaara in the process.

After vomiting up every thing she had eaten last night she want to make breakfast.

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Kiba was sitting on the couch, while Ayame lay across it with her head in his lap. They sat and enjoyed the quiet for a few minutes. Ayame looked up "Kiba we need to talk"

"Bout what"

" the silly baby things you know what are we going to name it. You know those kinds of things"

"Okay if it's a boy I'll name it if it's a girl you name it"

"No juniors"

"But why"

"Cause I said so"

"How bout Bufan"

"Bu–what"

"It means power in this ancient language I found in some scroll"

"I would name it if it was a girl...um..Arina"

"That name is beautiful"

"Thanks, Important question"

"What"

"Are we going to get married"

"Well..."

"Sorry it was a dumb question! Don't worry about it"

"It's okay I was going to ask you but I kinda don't have the ring yet."

"Yay but I don't want any thing extravagant just a little ceremony with my family and friends around"

"As you wish"

"Stop quoting movies you goof"

"It is your favorite am I right"

"Yes...I'm hungry lets go get some ramen"

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Tanka gave Gaara his breakfast, "Gaara if we have a girl you get to name it okay"

"That was a bit random."

"Well it was the best way to start baby talk"

"Okay"

"Well there are three things we need to talk about one I've already decided on. Where are we going to live, where I have the baby, and names. So name was the easiest to start on. The only real discussion we need to have is where are we going to raise the baby."

"Why are we not having the baby here"

"Simple Konoha's hospital is better"

"True and you deserve the best, well any way the two of you will be living here. I can't leave and I want to be there when you need me."

"Fine but what about my career I'm a very highly paid assassin back home if I move here I'll have to lower my rank"

"The wife of the Kazekage dose no such thing"

"Oh yeah, I keep my rank, mission difficulty level and, my name. Oh my baby will not have your last name. It's dumb and weak in the demon world... I'm going to need to borrow a few of your genin, to help me bring my stuff...and you need to build me a forge"

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**Dun daaaaaaaaaaaa... tune in next time on days of our ninja. Nice long Chappy so tell me what you think and review. The movie quote is from the princess bride I 3 that movie. Kk thanks – Sparki**


	21. a trip two remember or not part I

1**Chapter twenty**

**oh yeah the big two...oh** **y'all ready for this**

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Matsuri walked into the Kazekage's office, "Kazekage-sama you summoned me"

Gaara looked up from his pile of paper work, "ah Matsuri I have an important mission for you"

"What"

"I need you to help my wife get all her stuff here from Konoha this is C rank, nothing really important but I would like some one I can really trust on the case. As one of my favorite students I ever taught I believe you're my girl."

"I'll take it thank you very much"

"Oh and can you do me a favor"

"What"

"Make sure Tanka takes it easy she is a very stressy person."

"Hai, Gaara-sensei" she said as she walked out of the room.

"Good now that, that has been taken care of I have to find some one to build a nursery in the house, and get all the other shit that you need for a baby, before Tanka get's back...this is not going to be easy."

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At Kazekage's mansion, Tanka was getting packed to cross the desert again to go back home to get her shit and come back. The next time she would be back in Konoha she would be having a baby, she groaned at the thought. She took a picture so she could remember how she looked before the baby.

She finished packing for her trip and went to the door to see who her escort would be outside three genin were waiting for her. She walked over to them, "So this everyone"

The genin looked at the frightening woman, when one of them spoke up, "No, um, we're waiting for Matsuri. She's team leader."

"Oh joy a Gaara fan girl" tanka muttered "Well then lets eat first, come in I have cookies."

The team of reluctant genin went in to the house. Tanka told them to sit at the table where she happily served Temari's cookies. Tanka looked at the team, "So I need you to do me a favor and do not tell anyone where you got those cookies. 'Kay?"

"Yes, ma'am"

"Okay if your going to travel with me there are some rules. First, call me Tanka. Second, tell Temari I gave you those and I will kill you. Third you call me any thing other tanka I will make you my student for a month. You will meet the last student she is pregnant too. You can ask her about my training methods. Oh, and by the way, what are your names?"

"Hai," a boy with red hair and a Suna vest said. "I'm Itsaki."

A girl with long purple hair that looked just like Hinata in her outfit choice stared at Tanka and said, "I-I'm Akiko..."

The other girl had long, blue steely-looking hair, that was definitely dyed, and wore a black kimono and a white sash, "Yuuka's the name!"

"Ok, then, I'm Tanka as you already know. So we've worried your leader enough so lets go outside. I'll cover for you."

"Thanks..."

They walked out and saw Matsuri standing there. Tanka and Matsuri glanced at each other, then acted like they didn't see the other. "Well, let's get a move on."

They started running, Matsuri only ever talking to the genin and Tanka only talking to them as well. The poorgenin were caught between two unfriendly women, one that was pregnant. When they made camp that night, Matsuri was out getting firewood and Tanka wassitting in the tent doing what pregnant women do. Eating.

Yuuka came back from scouting the area and sat next to Akiko. "Man, this is going to be a long trip."

Itsaki looked up. "Why did Kazekage-sama send Matsuri-sensei to lead this mission?"

"Y-yeah, you could cut t-the tension here with a kunai... I guess Kazekage-sama doesn't realize that Matsuri-sensei was... was..." Akiko looked for the right words.

"That she's completely in loved with him." Yuuka said bluntly.

"Not really in _love_, just has a crush on him. And then he sends her on a mission with his pregnant fiancé."

Itsaki laughed a little and said, "Not his smartest move, huh?"

"You can say that again. Oh, look, Matsuri-sensei is back." Yuuka stood and walked over to Matsuri, who had just got back. "I didn't find anyone in the area, Sensei."

"Good, tell Itsaki to a fire and Akiko can make some type of food." Matsuri turned and started to leave the campsite.

"U-um, Matsuri-sensei? W-where are you going?" Akiko had joined Yuuka by the pile of firewood.

"Oh, nowhere... I'm just going to... patrol the area again... I'll be look out." She turned back around and left.

Yuuka and Akiko looked at each other then laughed. Itsaki, not understanding the exchange of looks, asked, "What? What's so funny?"

"You didn't get why she left? Seriously? Well, you're a guy, I guess it doesn't count. She left so she wouldn't have to eat dinner with Tanka-sama–"

"Didn't I tell you to call me Tanka? No sama or san or chan or sensei. Just Tanka."

"H-hai, Tanka-sa...er... Tanka..." Akiko said, feeling extremely uncomfortable.

"There you go! Now what's happening with this dinner you were talking about?"

"O-oh, I-I'll start m-making so-some f-food n-now..." Akiko set herself to the making of dinner.

"Erg... Tanka... did you here our little conversation just now?" It was the first time since they left that Yuuka sounded worried.

"No..." Just as Yuuka let out a sigh of relief, Tanka added, "I heard your conversation earlier, too."

Yuuka's sigh turned into a sharp inhale of breath in her shock. _Crappity crap crap craaaaaap!! I said that Matsuri was totally in love with Gaara-sama!! Crap this won't help this relationship at all!! CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!_ "You know, I was just kidding!! I was just coming up with reasons why Matsuri-sensei is being so... unfriendly today." She gave Itsaki a look that said, _help._

Itsaki picked up on it and stuttered. "Uh.. Y-yeah, it c-could be anything really."

"Yeah, for all I know she's PMSing or something." Yuuka said, matter-of-factly.

Itsaki nodded his head, "Yeah... wait, WHAT?!" He asked turning to his friend.

Yuuka kicked him, yelling, "Oh, shut it, Itsaki. You know what I said."

While they had their attention diverted, Tanka had walked off, tired of being lied to. She went to the edge of the campsite and sat under a tree. _Geez... If I had known staying with Gaara would be so hard I would have chosen someone with less fangirls... _ She sat wrapped up in her thoughts for a while when Akiko came and sat across from her.

"You know, it's not really her fault..."

Tanka sighed. "I know..." she smiled and said, "It's Gaara's fault for being so smexy."

Akiko laughed, then looked up at Tanka, "It's just kinda hard to watch the person you like date someone else..."

"Oh... well, she kinda needs to realize that we're not just dating now... considering that I have a small life force in my stomach that came from Gaara, we're pretty serious and she needs to get over him... he's not that great anyway... he sucks a lot sometimes actually..."

Akiko stood up, "Well, just remember that it's not her fault, so go easy on her." She started to leave but Tanka grabbed her wrist.

"So who's this boy you like? You know what, never mind, just ask him out already before some one else does."

The genin blushed as Tanka let go of her.

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The next day as they left the campsite, Tanka tossed Matsuri a bag of food and said, "I saved you some food from dinner last night since you didn't get any."

Matsuri nodded and grumbled a thanks.

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**well what possably could go wrong, will tanka and matsuri become friends, will temari find out bout the cookies, find out on the next episode of dragon ba– ... I mean chat rooms**


	22. a trip to remember or not part II

Tanka, Matsuri, and the genin ran through the forest in complete silence

**Chapter 21 **

**Holy thit I got a lithp tho um I never thought thith would get thith far plz enjoy**

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Tanka, Matsuri, and the genin ran through the forest in complete silence. About an hour later, Tanka stopped dead, looking paler than usual. The rest stopped and Yuuka walked over, "Tanka, are you—" Her sentence was cut short by Tanka puking on her shoes.

Everyone's reactions are as followed: Akiko dragged off a screaming, grossed out Yuuka; Itsaki cracking up; Matsuri rushing over and to hold back Tanka's massive amount of hair. Tanka continued to vomit while Matsuri struggled to contain all her hair, "Jeez, you have a lot of hair!" She eventually gave up and did it up into one long French braid.

After a few minutes, she stopped and stood, wiping her mouth. "Gluck, these next nine months are gonna stink… Thanks for holding back my hair…"

"N-no problem… You wouldn't happen to have a hair tie or something? If you don't tie up the end of that braid, it'll come undone…"

"Um, will this work..?" She pulled a small red ribbon off her katana.

"Yeah, it should," Matsuri took the ribbon and tied it on the end of the braid. This started a conversation.

Akiko tapped Yuuka, who was cleaning off her shoes in a stream nearby, on the shoulder and pointed to Tanka and Matsuri, "Look, they're talking… it's a miracle…"

Yuuka honestly wasn't listening to her. "Yeah, yeah, that's great…"

Itsaki walked over then and asked Akiko, "Am I hallucinating? Or are they actually being friendly?"

"I don't think so… I see it, too, so you can't be hallucinating… hopefully…" Akiko and Itsaki stood staring at the two women when Yuuka looked up suddenly.

"Omigawd. Are they being nice?"

Akiko glared at her. "I just told you that."

"Oh… well I wasn't paying attention… look at my shoes!!"

"There stained, gross, and still smell of vomit." Itsaki stated, impassively.

"EXACTLY!! Now, if your shoes were like this would you pay attention to what you team mate was sa—" For the second time that day, she was interrupted mid-sentence, this time by a kunai whizzing past her face. "Look bitch show yourself you throw like a girl" Yuuka began to scream. When a shinobi jumped out of the tree above her. With a loud thud she fell to the ground, in a small lump, but she soon disappeared in a poof of smoke. By the time she got into her fighting stance Tanka was there beating the poor guy with her katana sheath.

She continued to do so till he was little more than a bloody dust. Yuuka stood in horror and saw to other similar piles nearby and a bloody up fourth member.

"Aw, man, you killed them all!!" Yuuka exclaimed "... can I kill the last one?" she added sheepishly.

"No" Matsuri said flatly

"Damn, well anyone else want to get a move on so we can get there?"

"Yeah let's go I smell like vomit," Tanka added.

They scooped up there prisoner and continued on there way to Konoha.

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**Tith the end tho to my nonexithtent fanth peath out **

**thparki**


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